Thursday 22 March 2018

A farewell letter to 2010

Should old acquaintance be forgot? Absolutely, writes Joseph O'Connor

Dear 2010,

Come here, you big lunk. You rascal. You rogue of a year. I meant to give you a nice big hug, just to say farewell. A good, hard squeeze. Around the throat. Also, I had a little present I wanted to give you, just to remember us by. It's a two-word phrase. Containing three effs. And it isn't "fluffy jumper".

Yes, we'll certainly remember you, 2010. Funny old year. Hey, we learnt an awful lot together! The cynics felt the Government couldn't manage to get drunk in a brewery, but actually, in fairness, they probably could manage that, particularly if it happened the night before an important interview on Morning Ireland. Emperor Nero is said to have fiddled while Rome was burning. Brian Cowen doesn't fiddle, unlike some we might mention, but he's a wonderful mimic and singer. We're thinking of entering him in The X Factor next year. With a couple of hair extensions and an open-necked blouse, he could be Offaly's answer to Wagner.

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