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TCD academics claim Santa’s global reach ‘down to quantum physics’

A ground-breaking paper suggests Santa’s ability to cover all homes in one night is due to quantum technology developed in the North Pole.

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TCD academics say that Santa Claus and his reindeer travel so widely because of their mastery of quantum physics

TCD academics say that Santa Claus and his reindeer travel so widely because of their mastery of quantum physics

TCD academics say that Santa Claus and his reindeer travel so widely because of their mastery of quantum physics

Leading Trinity College Dublin professors and academics have explained, for the first time, how quantum physics technology allows Santa Claus to deliver billions of gifts in one night.

In a ground-breaking paper, Professor John Goold claims to have uncovered the scientific formula that allows Santa and several reindeer to move from home to home in nanoseconds.

“In a nutshell, quantum mechanics allows objects and, in this case, Santa and Rudolph, to be in many places simultaneously,” according to the paper released by Trinity College, authored by Professor Goold and Dr Mark Mitchison.

“That is the key ingredient which allows for his extraordinarily efficient delivery on Christmas Eve. Santa Claus is in fact exploiting quantum mechanics to deliver the gifts.”

The news solves a mystery that has puzzled physicists and scientists for years — how does Santa actually deliver so many presents to so many boys and girls around the world in one night? It will also hearten political leaders and parents who were worried that current restrictions may have impacted Santa’s movement globally.

“There is little doubt now to quantum physicists that Santa is exploiting what we know as ‘macroscopic quantum coherence’, which is precisely the same resource used by cutting-edge quantum technologies to outperform technologies based on classical physics,” said Prof Goold.

Quantum physics describes the basic building blocks of the material we can see around us. It explains almost everything we understand about the world such as how the sun shines, why metal looks and feels different from plastic or wood and many other things.

“Experiments show that these weird states describe tiny things, like atoms, but also much larger things too,” said Prof Goold.

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“In fact, an important part of our job as physicists is trying to put bigger and bigger objects into superpositions, which we think will help us to build ultra-fast computers and a more secure Internet in the future. But we still haven’t learned to do it as well as Santa can.”

Historically, the idea that an object can be in a ‘macroscopic superposition’ has led to significant controversy. However, the idea has gained traction in recent years. It looks set for a new lease of life with the TCD discovery over Santa’s application of it.

“We are pretty sure that Santa has developed some advanced technology to protect his quantum superposition and stop such a collapse from ruining Christmas,” said Dr Mark Mitchison of the TCD QuSys research group. “But just in case, we advise children the world over to go to bed early on Christmas Eve and suggest they don’t try to catch a glimpse of him and risk collapsing his merry superposition.”


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