Sunday 26 May 2019

Wagon's Den? You got that right

A few years ago, I appeared on a show on Newstalk with Lisa Murphy.

I was expecting to find a vain, arrogant and frankly obnoxious woman – a classic example of the worst excesses of the boom years.

And I am happy to say that I couldn't have been more wrong.

She was polite, shy and friendly and . . . well, she was just lovely in a harmless kind of way.

So, I put away all the barbs I had planned to use because having a pop would have been lazy, mean and cheap.

Which is, of course, exactly what Katherine Lynch specialises in.

Murphy appeared on the show and has since expressed her shock at how she was treated.

Now you can obviously argue that anyone who goes on to a show like that knows what to expect.

But she seems a rather innocent sort and she expressed her embarrassment at being referred to as 'frisbee lips' and numerous other barbs about her looks.

Really, when your best shot is ripping the piss out of someone as inoffensive as Lisa Murphy it's time to take a long, hard look at what you're doing.

Stay tuned next week, when Katherine Lynch drowns some puppies in a bucket.

Ah, the silence is deafening

The Left in Ireland, as indeed across all of Europe, likes to take the moral highground.

And, of course, they have pet causes – the Palestinians being the most obvious.

To be honest, from my dealings with some of these people I'm not entirely convinced that they are not motivated more by a simple hatred of the Israelis as they are by any love for the Palestinians. But that's an argument for another day.

However, whenever a fashionable cause comes up they are quick to trumpet their concern and compassion for the weak, the downtrodden and the hungry around the globe.

So, the news that North Korea is once again enduring a government-imposed famine while the elite gorge themselves has surely mobilised the Left?

After all, when you see the cannibalism, such as the horrific case of the father who killed his own children to eat them, you would expect demos, vigils outside the GPO and the usual protests, would you not?

And what have we seen so far?

Um. . . nothing.

Nice one, lads, good to see you're as consistent in your causes as ever. . .

Students today, eh?

A friend of mine was on the bus the other day when an inspector got on.

The girl sitting in front of him was on her mobile and became irritated when she had to produce her ticket.

She then became livid when it was pointed out that her bus pass was two months out of date and she would have to pay.

When she pointed out that she was a student and had no money, she then became abusive towards the conductor and used the kind of language you'd normally hear from Frankie Boyle.

The inspector was becoming increasingly exasperated until she dared him to call the cops.

So he did. And they came. And they took her away in a squad car.

"What was really weird though," said my friend, "was that she was a student teacher. Jesus, can you imagine having someone like that teaching your kids?"

This is one to watch

When the pilot for Derek first aired last year, there was outrage directed against Ricky Gervais.

Frankly, I thought the idea of Gervais – not the most sensitive of men, shall we say – playing a care home worker who, if not exactly intellectually retarded, was certainly a bit slow looked like a recipe for disaster.

Instead, I found it tender, moving and chock full of heart and affection for the characters – not something that Gervais is often accused of.

In fact, I reckon despite all his massive success in Britain and the States, this show might be the one he is the most proud of.

Now, I'm only working off what we saw in the pilot, of course.

But on the evidence that we saw that time, Channel 4 at 10 tonight is the channel to be watching.

You sure that's a good idea?

Democracy is a precious, valuable thing that we sometimes take for granted.

So I read with interest some of the plans of the newly formed Constitutional Convention.

Would it turn out to be just another waffle house or would it come up with some decent ideas?

Well, the most notable suggestion was lowering the voting age to 16.

That'll certainly change the way political debates are conducted.

Instead of hard analysis, we'll have Prime Time meets The X Factor as Enda Kenny and Micheál Martin start off by saying how it has always been their dream to be Taoiseach before bursting into tears and saying: "I'm doing this for me Nan. She's the only one who ever had faith in me and she is the one who told me to run."

Actually, the more I think of it, that might be a better system than the one we have now.

Irish Independent

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