Time to hug a Sassenach

Pat Fitzpatrick

March 27 2011 04:44 AM

YOU probably know the one about God telling St Patrick, "I am going to give your people a beautiful, bountiful island and all kinds of musical and rhetorical talents," and St Patrick thanks God, but God says, "Hang on, there's a catch. Wait until you meet the neighbours." That might have been funny once, but now it's not even true. In fact, it's time we showed a bit of gratitude -- thank God for the English.

They contributed to our bailout fund even though it's clear they haven't a bob themselves. They're sending over the queen to play support to Barack Obama next month. Last weekend, their rugby players had the basic decency to lie down and let our players and the crowd in the Aviva roar this country back to life. Then it got even better. A Nike ad featuring English stars, shot in anticipation of them winning the Grand Slam, was leaked. Naturally, being English, they were terribly embarrassed by the whole affair and apologised profusely for any offence. No need to apologise old chap, that's the best laugh you've given us in ages.

It's hard to know why they've been so nice to us. If you didn't know better, you might think they were guilty about something. It's not like we're nice to them. A bar owner in Fairview made it clear the queen isn't welcome in his pub. The English go to the bother of inviting our leading couple to the royal wedding and Brian O'Driscoll replies: "Sorry, I've got a rugby match and I think Amy is washing her hair." Or something along those lines.

It's a racing certainty we'll get the annual reminder of who our friends really are next month when they give their douze points to Jedward at the Eurovision. Then would be a great time to stop making eyes at the Germans and French and say something decent to the neighbours. Cheers, mate.