Monday 21 October 2019

test your euro-credentials

Do you even know your Lisbon from your Lesbian? Do you believe CAP Reform is something to do with hats?

Take our test to see if you are a Eurocrat or a Europrat.

1. Who or what is Schengen?

a) Pork-based meat snack served with gherkins in Poland. b) EU community area without internal borders. c) Common German swearword used for emphasis (as in "Zis Irish weather is schengen crazy'')

2.What is the Berlaymont?

a) Star-shaped European Union headquarters which was shut down in the Nineties because of asbestos contamination. b) Austrian yodel tune used for beckoning sheep. c) Popular Brussels lapdancing bar where eurocrats and visiting dignitaries unwind.

3. What would you expect to receive in Rome if you asked for a focaccia?

a) Tomato sauce with anchovies. b) Dense flat bread topped with olive oil, cheese and herbs. c) A slap in the face.

4. What does the EU hope to achieve through CAP reform?

a) Reforms of inefficient farm subsidies, which usually lead to farmers being paid even more.

b) Revising tariffs on fuel imports.

c) Regulations aimed at banning American-style baseball caps.

5. What is subsidiarity?

a) Ensuring EU rules are made as closely as possible to the citizen. b) Bringing national laws in line with one another. c) Paying farmers for not growing turnips.

6. Which of the following is not the title of a Eurovision song contest entry?

a) Boom-Bang-a-Bang. b) A-Boo-Boo-Boo. c) A-Ba-Ni-Ba.

7. What is a Basque separatist?

a) Door-to-door Breton basket salesman. b) Persistent Umbrian underwear thief. c) Potentially violent person seeking independence for a region in Spain.

8. Which one of the following reports about barmy EU regulations, which appeared in the press, is actually true?

a) EU regulations will force donkeys to wear nappies on beaches. b) A Brussels directive once classified carrots as fruit. c) Under EU law Scotsmen will be banned from playing bagpipes.

9. What is QMV?

a) Qualified Material Variation. b) Qualified Majority Voting. c) Qualified Male Ventriloquist.

10. Who is the current President of the European Commission?

a) Romano Prodi. b) Jose Manuel Barroso. c) Jose Mourinho.

Score: Give yourself 2 points for each of the following correct answers:

Answers: 1. b) 2. a) 3. b) 4. a) 5.a) 6. b) 7. c) 8. b) 9. b) 10. b)


14-20: Magnifique. You're a right little Eurocrat and could be our new commissioner (if we ever have one again);

10-13: You're just an average Manuel in the street. You have potential to be a eurobore, but you need to bone up on Lisbon;

0-9: Mein Gott! Eu're a damn disgrace and shouldn't be allowed to vote.

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