Some are more equal than others...
One of the great principles of modern times is equal pay for equal work.
So, where are our feminist sisters now that the annual grunt-fest at Wimbledon has begun?
Yup, as we face the grim prospect of female players like Portugal's Michelle Larcher emitting the kind of frenzied grunt at every stroke like she's starring in some kind of particularly weird niche porn movie, at least the wimmin can console themselves with the fact that they will get the same money.
Even though they are likely to spend roughly half of the amount of time on court as their male colleagues, thanks to the efforts of the WTA and players like Serena Williams, each round offers the same dosh for both sexes.
So, the winners of both the male and female sections can both look forward to trousering a rather tasty £850,000 each for winning -- with the woman playing the best of three, while the man will have had to come through two weeks of playing the best of five.
So, in the spirit of equal work for equal pay, should the female game not also adapt to best of five?
Erm no. Because as top female player Jelena Jankovic whined last week at the prospect of playing best of five: "What, you want to drive us into oblivion?"
So, we want the same money because we're women. But we don't want to do the same work. Because we are women.
But only a sexist pig would point out that absurdity, of course.