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Forget Fungi, we need Flipper

SURELY Fungi must be held partly responsible for this. For 20 yearsthe dolphin has dined out at our expense, taking our love, acclaim and fish in equalmeasure.

Then, last Sunday, the sea comes along and takes a whole chunk of cliff-face with it back into the water right under Fungi's rather large bottle-nose at Slea Head on the Dingle peninsula.

And where was Fungi during all of this? Nowhere. He's our man on the inside, down there under the sea, so surely he should have done something to prevent it fromhappening.

Flipper would have stopped it, you can be sure of that. He'd have had the whole town rounded up and delegated important roles to each of them long before any problems occurred.

"What's that, Flipper? You want me to go and wake Mr O'Sullivan and get him to bring his crane and tungsten carbide drill down here before this whole cliff falls intothe sea?"

Flipper would then respond with one chirp for 'yes', two for 'no', or several repeated chirps for 'as fast as you can'. We heard precious little chirping from Fungi.

Of course, we probably shouldn't be too hard on the little dolphin. His faults are in keeping with the rest of the country.

The Celtic Tiger has now reached the creatures who live in the sea, and he's simply in the comfort zone and has taken his eye off the ball. Asking him to do anything beyond the bare minimum is a pointless exercise. With last week being Easter he was probably off on a city break somewhere. We've created a monster and we've only ourselves to blame.

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