Tuesday 20 March 2018

Brand had one leg over the eight

It's fair to say we have a winner for the 2013 Too Much Detail Awards. Russell Brand revealed to the world during the week that he had nine orgasms in one evening in Dublin. He also said he was exhausted the next day. We should hope so.

Russell also shared with us that nine in one evening was a personal record. It's fair to say this is also the Irish record. The local courting ritual involves gargantuan levels of gargle so that everyone involved can bury the auld inhibitions. That just doesn't leave much time for the how's your father. And a fella has his limits.

Now it's worth noting that this is Russell Brand we're talking about here, so it's possible he had two or three of those petites morts when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Russell Brand is quite the fan of Russell Brand. But so are lots of other people.

We should take advantage of this. Amsterdam has had a clear run as the sex capital of Europe for too long. Our tourist chiefs should jump on this publicity with the Russell Brand Orgasm Walking Tour of Dublin. A statue of a tired looking Russell at the top of Grafton Street with the inscription "How was it for you?" would be a great place to start. The guide could just stop at a few pubs and read excerpts from Fifty Shades of Grey. Now that's a literary walking tour.

In other news, Russell is playing a gig here in November. So lock up your everybody.

Pat Fitzpatrick

Irish Independent

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