Sunday 17 December 2017

This is your captain speaking: just what are you wearing?

Singer Kylie Minogue is seen at Orly airport on June 27, 2012 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/FilmMagic)
Singer Kylie Minogue is seen at Orly airport on June 27, 2012 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/FilmMagic)

Gemma O'Doherty

Fashion faux pas and flying seem to go hand in hand these days, and it's not just us mere mortals who are afflicted by the condition.

If anything, we pick up our bad habits from celebrity travellers who never seem to learn that high heels, low-cut tops and skinny jeans are just not a good look at 30,000 feet.

Take poor Kylie, for example, who was spotted wobbling out of Orly Paris the other day looking like her wardrobe is in need of a good old clearout.

Boater hat -- gasp. Crumply turned-up denims -- yikes. And nasty strappy sandals -- please! You are flying, dear, not going to a dodgy 1980s disco.

But really, you can't help but despair at some of the get-ups on parade in departure lounges this summer.

We know flying has become one of the roughest forms of transport, but that doesn't mean style should go out the window as we hit the clouds. Nor does it mean you should dress up to the nines for the occasion or turn up at check-in in beach gear.

Southwest Airlines took the scourge of lousy in-flight dressing into its own hands recently and booted off a female passenger showing 'inappropriate' cleavage.

US Airways went to similar lengths last summer when they refused to fly a football player because he was showing the top of his underwear above his pants.

A new survey by flight-comparison website Skyscanner has revealed the worst sartorial sins committed by air travellers.

Top of the list is men bearing 'builder's bottom' -- a sight that no fellow passenger should have to endure. Next in line is the exposed midriff -- tacky at the best of times, but what a turn-off in the cabin.

T-shirts with offensive logos, white socks in sandals, low-cut tops, loud jewellery and flip-flops were also singled out as clothing items that should never darken the doors of an airport.

Let me add a few to the list. Tight jeans. You won't only look silly in them, in an already cramped airplane seat, they could also kill you. Restricting blood flow during a flight can bring on deep vein thrombosis.

Shorts are a bad idea, too. Do you really want to feel a sticky airline seat beneath you for the duration of the flight?

Loose-fitting cotton trousers are a much better fit.

Ditch the perfume, too. It's just not fair to stench out your seatmate during a flight. You might love the way you smell, but, in an airplane cabin, everyone has to suffer it, so have a good shower before you go, wear clean clothes and skip the cologne.

High heels -- do we even need to say it? There are few sights more ridiculous in an airport, and, in a crowded airplane cabin, tottering around on stilettos just doesn't work.

And you will want to walk when you get to your destination, surely?

The best advice is to keep it loose, layered and casual. A soft pashmina or smart fleece over your shoulders, comfortable slip-on shoes with socks and a neutral top and trousers. will do the trick.

And keep your glad rags in your suitcase until you arrive.

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