Thursday 22 February 2018

Strong Women - from Khloe Kardashian to Beyonce

Kicking butt: Khloe Kardashian
Kicking butt: Khloe Kardashian
Ellie Goulding.
Pippa Middleton.

Pat Fitzpatrick

As Kelly Donegan shares a workout to help build the body you want, our reporter looks at celebrities who believe that strong is the new fit.


We're not suggesting Khloe Kardashian would be nothing without her name. But it's unlikely she'll change her surname to O'Mahoney. Khloe is known for her strength workout videos, where she can be seen kicking some butt. It must be a reference to Kim. Because that's some butt. Khloe put her divorce proceedings on hold when her husband, Lamar Odom, was found unconscious in a Las Vegas brothel. Hang on. Did she think it was a sign that he's mending his ways? In which case, we'd hate to see his ways.


Ellie's workouts are a huge hit on Instagram. They have introduced countless fans to the joys of exercise being done by your favourite celebrity, while you sit on the couch looking at them on social media. Pass the Pringles! Ellie is so committed that she has been described as a fitness badass. That's supposed to be a compliment these days. So the next time your wife asks how she looks in a dress, tell her she's a badass. And good look sleeping in the shed.


No one ever called Pippa a badass. Except her sister for the wedding upstaging thing. Pippa likes boxing. Maybe she hopes spending time in the ring will encourage some handsome chap to give her one. (A ring, on her finger - seriously, do something about your smutty mind.) She recently spent a few days skiing in the Norwegian resort, Birkebeinerrennet. By the time she finished saying where she was, it was time to go home.


Madonna works hard on her image. It's not everyone can look like a 57-year-old woman with muscles. You can look at videos of her workout regime online. A lot of them involve moving around with dumbbells. We'd put in a gag here about her bodyguards, but they are big men and we don't want any trouble. Her son Rocco was photographed recently, drinking and smoking under a bridge. There were fears that he had fallen off the rails. (Who writes this stuff?)


There is a workout video online promising you can have Beyonce's thighs. We're not sure how this works. Is it a swap, where you give Beyonce your old thighs? Or is she supposed to make do without thighs? It's confusing, really. Beyonce is famous for her thigh gap. That's where a woman has a gap between her thighs. It's a craze now, much discussed by people with ear gap. That's where people have a gap between their ears.

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