Sunday 15 December 2019

Radio Ladies: From Frankie Byrne to Alison Curtis

Frankie Byrne
Frankie Byrne
Lorraine Keane
Alison Curtis
Jenny Greene
Claire Byrne
Barry Egan

Barry Egan

As Barry Egan talks to Mairead Farrell, Pat Fitzpatrick takes a look at some other women, past and present, on the Irish airwaves

Frankie Byrne

She hosted an agony-aunt show sponsored by Jacob's Biscuits. Some of the people who wrote in were Crackers. The red-haired ones were Ginger Nuts. Ah, stop. A lot of listeners asked for guidance on what was considered appropriate behaviour for a woman. There is no need for that advice any more - we have crowd-sourced it to the internet. If you want to check what's appropriate behaviour, just look at the comments under that YouTube video of you flashing your boobs at a coachload of bishops.

2 Lorraine Keane 

Lorraine worked with AA Roadwatch way back in the 1990s. Thanks to her, the interchange at the Red Cow became known as a rind-a-boot. And there were you thinking it was a pain in the ass. It's funny nowadays that people listen to traffic news on the M50. What exactly is their plan on hearing of massive tailbacks all the way from Junction 7 to the M1? "No problem, I'll switch to one of the many other orbital motorways around Dublin. Once they are built."

3 Alison Curtis

Alison made a name for herself by playing indie music. In case you don't know, indie music allows middle-class kids to act like crazy outsiders, right up to the moment they become dentists or accountants. You might not have heard, but indie music is also incredibly funny. If you doubt this, go along to a Radiohead concert and watch thousands of professionals in their mid-30s singing, "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo." Now that's comedy.

4 Jenny Greene

Jenny is a co-host with Nicky Byrne on 2fm's Nicky Byrne Show. You might want to read that again. It's fair to say that Sideshow Bob on The Simpsons has a better gig than that. Jenny was upfront when the show started, admitting in public that she isn't really a fan of Westlife. Of course, that wasn't an issue for 2fm. There was no way they could have hired a Westlife fan to work on the show. There are very strict labour laws against hiring eight-year-old girls.

5 Claire Byrne

A message from the ordinary men of Ireland: "We're in trouble with the feminists again. All we did was suggest that Claire was well on her way to becoming the next Miriam O'Callaghan. The feminists were in like a flash, asking is that just because she is blonde and a woman? Yes, says we, adding she'll need a few more kids if she is going to match Miriam. Well, Jesus - that drove them mad altogether. We'll keep our mouths shut in future.

Sunday Independent

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