Friday 17 November 2017

People are talking: WAGs for Euros just don't compare to 2006

Victoria Beckham
Victoria Beckham
Hillary Clinton

Anne Marie Scanlon

'Just over ten years ago the world had never heard of WAGs. Then the English squad arrived in Germany for the World Cup and the boys were a mere sideshow compared to the endless parade of hair, make-up, nails and clothes given by their wives and girlfriends. And what WAGs they were - Posh (pictured, as she then was), Cheryl Cole (as she then was), Abbey Clancy and Coleen McLoughlin (as she then was).

Much muck was raked and much scorn poured as the lassies seemed to do nothing but shop and party. These days, apart from Coleen Rooney (as she now is) could you name a current WAG? The impossibly slim and gorgeous 20-something girlfriends of the European players have been hailed as the new generation.

Really? Littering your Instagram feed with bikini selfies in glamorous locations does not a real WAG make. Stumbling out of a club in the early hours and looking perfect next day is only the start. It's such a poor show it makes 2006 seem like a Golden Age.

So what if Hillary didn't get where she is by being nice?

Eilis O'Hanlon

Hillary Clinton is a bit like that little Japanese boy who was abandoned by his parents in a bear-infested wood as a punishment.

In the beginning, she was everyone's golden girl. All the cool, trendy people loved her, and wanted her to be the first female US President.

Then she started doing naughty things. Like, you know, starting wars and raking in millions just for giving speeches to Wall Street vultures.

As you do.

So, like Yamato Tanooka's parents, they decided to teach her a lesson by leaving her alone for a while and running off to play with Bernie Sanders instead. Unfortunately, they took it too far, and it started to look as if they'd blown their best chance ever for a woman to get her knees under the desk in the Oval Office for the first time - or the second, if you include Monica Lewinsky.

Hillary survived her days in the metaphorical wilderness, and now they're all getting behind her again as she prepares to take on Donald Trump. Just right too.

Who says female politicians have to be nice anyway? She wants to be President, not a singer in a folk band


Hillary Clinton

Come on Phwoar-land

Pat Fitzpatrick

You could say we've already won. The Irish soccer team is about to change the way we are viewed by the world. Literally. Because there is only one way to put this. Our current squad is a bunch of hotties. We could be known as Phwoar-land. Jeff Hendrick, John Walters and Co would get more than a second look from your continental lady. Shane Long could be top scorer in more ways than one, if he was still single. Shay Given still has it, even before he opens his mouth and unleashes that killer 'how ya doin?' Donegal accent. And there will be no shortage of shots of Roy Keane. He's hot again now that the beard is back. This matters, almost as much as the result. The term 'ugly as an Irish man' has echoed across Europe for centuries now. (Ask your Italian or Spanish friends if you doubt this.) The boys in green could lose their three games 9-0 and still do us a service over there. As long as the camera doesn't linger too long on our fans. Ten pints in the sunshine isn't a great look on our lads.

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