Oh sweet Yeezus. Another VMAs (MTV Music Video Awards) another Kanye moment, another Taylor Swift moment and a whole series of Miley moments. Six years after Kanye used the event to diss Swift she, very sweetly, gave him the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award for his body of work to date.Kanye apologised to Taylor, sort of, said 'bro' a lot and announced he intended to run for President of the United States in 2020.
Despite this West was still upstaged by host Miley Cyrus who made sure to wow the audience with her … erm, costumes. (Saying they were 'barely there' would actually be an exaggeration.) A spool of thread obviously goes a long way in the Cyrus house.
Nicki Minaj followed Kanye's lead and put an end to her 'feud' with Taylor Swift but her forgiving mood didn't include Miss Miley. As she collected the award for Best Hip Hop Video (Anaconda) Minaj said, "and now back to this b***h that had a lot to say about me in the press. Miley, what's good?"
Seriously, what are they going to do next year to top this? Will Nicki and Miley marry live on air? Will Beyoncé give birth? Will Kanye announce his intention to be the next Pope (or will he reveal that he IS the Pope)? Most importantly, how few sequins will Miley distribute around her body and call a costume?
As a young woman in pop, Rihanna collects detractors like designer handbags. It's practically part of the job description. All of them are at it - her, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj ... only Taylor Swift among them seems to get through the day without almost wilfully goading a bevy of different moral factions into apoplexy over their morning cornflakes.
So hearing the words "Shame on Rihanna!" being trotted out across newspaper headlines isn't exactly surprising. On any given day, she can probably expect an assignation of shame to come from any number of places - the conservatives who object to her racy dance moves and penchant for transparent clothing. Or the feminist commentators, who criticise her variously for her choice of boyfriend or the violence in her music videos.
But wait. There's a new moraliser on the block and on the warpath. She's in hot water again for her fashion choices. But this time, it's the animal rights activists who are revolting against her. A load of them "stormed" her perfume launch at Macy's last week, chanting "fur is murder" and "shame on Rihanna", while waving signage and scuffling with security staff.
This time it's not the sight of her own skin they're objecting to, but the skins of the minks and snakes in her wardrobe. So either she's not covering up or she's covering up in the wrong things. Still, no doubt a few railing bystanders is all just part of an average day's disgrace for her. Barely enough to get one's fur knickers in a twist over.
Niall Horan is looking to buy a place in Ireland. Quick, jack up the price of your house. The One Direction star's intentions were revealed to us this week by his buddy and 2FM presenter, Eoghan McDermott. Could it be that Niall has got to a place where he feels he can only talk to us through Eoghan McDermott? That's a question for another day. The question now is where would Niall like to live? He's an Irish boy, so we can't rule out the possibility that he'll move in next to Mammy in Mullingar.
That said, it isn't every global sensation that would be happy waking up in a medium-sized midlands town. He's worth a reported €35m, so he should be just about able to afford a place in Dublin. He mightn't even need a guarantee from his parents. But here's the thing. Dublin is a bit old hat these days. The Edge's old hat as it turns out. It's been a while since a global superstar decided it was the city for her or him. Dublin's all a bit 1990s. West Cork has Jeremy Irons and Graham Norton, but it's no place for young men. And then it hits you. The coolest place in Ireland these days is north of the border.
Ever since they started shooting the cold-but-not-that-cold bits of Game of Thrones up there, the north has gone red hot on the celebrity scale. Brad Pitt and Sienna Miller are up there shooting a movie right now. Van Morrison did a concert on Cyprus Avenue this week, attracting Robert Pattinson, Chrissie Hynde, Kim Cattrall and others to town. There's no denying it - Northern Ireland is your only man these days if you want to settle in among the stars. And best of all, Niall, you'll get a couple of more bedrooms for your money. So head north young man. You'll feel right at home.
There seems no limit to Donald Trump's insanity. He's gone so far down the road to crazy town that the rest of the Republican Party, already a veritable Mad Hatter's tea party of crazy-eyed loons, look sane in comparison. Even Rick Perry, the daft-as-a-brush Texas governor who threatened to secede Texas from the United States, looks like Nelson Mandela or Gandhi compared to Trump. There are bags of hammers less mad than Trump.
A lot of Trump's insanity probably stems from his vanity. Seth MacFarlane joked that when Trump makes love to a beautiful woman he likes to imagine that he's making love to himself. Vanity is not conducive to sanity, just look at Charlie 'Tiger Blood' Sheen. And for all the things you'd want from the leader of the free world, sanity is surely chief among them. But Trump's hopefully unsuccessful run for the presidency may be trumped by an even bigger blowhard in the near future. Kanye West, the world's biggest rock star, at least according to himself, wants to run in 2020. Like Trump, Kanye does not take criticism well. He throws bigger tantrums than an ill-tempered five-year-old on a long-haul flight - harmless enough when it's at Taylor Swift at the VMAs, not so if it's at China and he's at the White House with the red button nearby. Trump or Kanye, let's hope for Beijing's sake it's neither one.
Obama's teddy Bear picnic
For some reason when we heard that Obama was off to Alaska we imagined Sarah Palin sitting on her porch menacingly stroking a shotgun. But in a week that Sarah was causing even Donald Trump to wince slightly as she interviewed him, the man who made her look even sillier in 2008 was on his way to the American wilderness where he teamed up with overgrown boy scout Bear Grylls for a kind of Brokeback Mountain without the gay bits. Of course Obama can't even have a birthday without Republican opposition so there were a lot of people up in arms at the sight of him "enjoying himself" while America's stupid gun laws (which Obama has been trying to change) result in the deaths of more people.
And people are now comparing him to Putin in terms of who can be the most rugged outdoorsman (thankfully Obama held off on the chest oil). But what was really genius was that Barry came up with a way to make this macho-bonding frolic in the woods about a worthy issue: global warming. It was a lesson to world leaders everywhere - always pass off a jaunt as selfless work - and possibly a moment to send chills down Sarah's spine. First he denied her the vice presidency, now he's stealing her vantage point for Russia.
When two worlds collide
We've been served up a summer of GAA championship action that would put a chronic insomniac to sleep.
So it's brilliant that the football series was jolted into action by the Sid and Nancy of Gaelic football.
Mayo and Dublin join a long list of tempestuous couples that can't live with each other but can't live without each other either. They're Burton and Taylor, but with O'Neill's GAA shorts and fashionable shaved haircuts. Dublin beat the Mayo men by a single point back in 2013 and Mayo were also foiled by Donegal the year before. It looked like a walk in the park for the off-form Dubs last Sunday, but when two teams dislike each other that much it was never going to be the last word. Like Liverpool manager Bill Shankly said about soccer, Dublin v Mayo is not life and death - it's much more important than that. This was a clash of urban Ireland against rural Ireland and it's a political battle as well. All political power is in the capital but the Taoiseach is from Mayo. It wasn't a grudge match. That would be too polite a word for it!
Sunday Indo Living