Monday 19 March 2018

'Our IVF was free with the charity Pomegranate, but it takes everything you have emotionally'  

Nicky Murphy from Bree, Co. Wexford, with his wife Sara and son Noah who is 21 months old. Photo: Patrick Browne
Nicky Murphy from Bree, Co. Wexford, with his wife Sara and son Noah who is 21 months old. Photo: Patrick Browne

'I had leukaemia when I was 24 and before I had full body radiation, my sperm was stored. Having a baby wasn't something I really thought about - me and Sara had only been going out about a month.

It would have been so tough to save for IVF on our own. I'm not working, I've been ill and have had a hip and shoulder replacement. At the time, Sara was working in the office at the local school and there's always something - your car goes wrong or something - that needs money.

We didn't know about Pomegranate until Sara was on her sister's hen night. One of the girls was a nurse and mentioned it to her.

We applied to them in August 2014 and Noah was born Christmas 2015. We just got lucky.

I was sick for so long and could only watch while she had to give herself the injections, but we were very positive. We'd been told we were good candidates, but we were given no guarantees. They were very honest and open. Our doctor said you could see in their faces the people who'd been trying for a long time compared to us, we were so positive.

I found it very emotional. The pregnancy test was a huge moment. We were supposed to wait until the next afternoon but we couldn't and did the test that night. We didn't tell many people, but our families knew we were having IVF. We told them we were due to do the pregnancy test three days after we actually did - to give ourselves time to get used to the news. If it wasn't good news, we wanted time to take it in - as it was, we had three days to get used to the idea we were going to be parents.

I know IVF was free for us, but it takes everything you have emotionally. If it doesn't work out you're not thinking about losing money, you're losing emotionally. I don't know how we would have coped if it had been a negative. I don't know when we would've got the chance again.

Pomegranate is doing brilliant work - Sara ran the 2014 mini marathon to raise money for them to give something back. Infertility is something you can't control. I nearly died when I was in St James's when I was sick and was brought back. I've no complaints about the health system but this is something that should be available to everyone. It's life changing, it's everything.

Noah's amazing, he makes it worthwhile. For all the bad days I have, every minute with him is amazing.

We're going to try for a brother or sister for him. We're not sure how we'll pay for it, but we'll try.'

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