Monday 19 August 2019

My Pet: Strange tall cats who lift me off their beds


Margaret Gillies

Many years ago, I came to live with four tall cats. They all walk on their hind legs.

All of them seem incapable of hunting so I bring them food to the door - but that only seems to make them confused and agitated. I think they must come from a rather uncivilised background.

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The four tall cats are in possession of a large magic gateway filled with white light that contains the meat of cow, pig and fish.

They take all their stock from there, then close the door. They don't go outside and hunt. They will not let me into this magic gateway. I think it is most ungrateful and lazy.

For my 18 hours of mandatory rest, I choose to lie on their soft furnishings, which are on unusual raised platforms above the ground. I stay there until I am lifted by a huge naked paw and placed outside.

These tall cats have big shiny cat flaps all around their home.

Sometimes they are sealed shut so I am not able to enter. They also own huge long rectangular beds. They are very luxurious.

I like to lie on them when the tall cats are not around because they do not like me sleeping on them for some reason. It is all very strange.

I am always hungry but am given only a miserly portion of a packet of meat twice a day. I am exhausted having to constantly ask for more.

The tall cats eat their food sitting at an enormous platform. It is most bizarre and rather unsettling. I cannot quite see what they eat but it smells much better than what I am given.

I often like to explore the garden, which is where I like to hunt. Occasionally I run into other regular cats who do not live in the same conditions as I do and are cold and hungry.

I tell them to find their own accommodation because they should have been more productive and found the house I'm living in before I did.

The four tall cats have not christened me with a name despite me being in their company for many years now.

I have lived in several other previous homes with many different housemates over the years.

Sometimes I like to walk around different gardens to see if I can find nice things to eat.

I like to spend the night on the unusual soft raised platform inside the house.

Although I find my current living conditions rather odd at times, it is where I am most comfortable on dark nights.

Margaret Gillies, Kanturk, Co Cork

Name: Unchristened

Finest hour: Eating a mouse in one go

Likes: Eating and sleeping

Dislikes: The rain

n If you would like your pet featured in this column, please send a story of 440 words and a photograph to clearly labelled MY PET

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