Thursday 18 January 2018

Instagram Collection - our most popular photos

Instagramming your lunch.
Instagramming your lunch.
Snapping those toes.
Capturing nature.
Snapping puppies.
Kim perfecting that duck face.

Pat Fitzpatrick

As we look at Ireland's Instagram queens - and kings, we list the popular photos that we love to post for our followers.


A note to people who post photos on Instagram of the lunch they are eating in Berlin. We get it. You are in Berlin. Against all the odds, you managed to buy a plane ticket online, navigate your way into the city centre via their excellent train system, and buy some falafel off some guy with quite a bit of English. You stand among us now as some kind of foodie-traveller-god guy. At least until we post a photo of that herring we ate in downtown Copenhagen. Take that, everyone who follows us on Instagram.


A note to people who post photos of their toes while lying down on a beach. Seriously, if that's the most interesting thing you've seen on your holidays, then we're really glad we stayed at home. Particularly since there is an obligatory Mojito in the shot, and we know how you tend to get after a feed of rum. And, of course, so does everyone else, after you posted a photo from your recent crazy hen night in Kilkenny. Honestly, would it have killed you to put on a pair of knickers?


Hello, people who post puppy photos on Instagram. Your broodiness is touching, but would you ever just go away and have a few kids? They have some advantages over your average puppy. Kids take up all your waking hours, so there is no time left to make a fool of yourself on Instagram. Also, kids can phone for help if you get sick, rather than just sitting there, whimpering like an eejit. Unless they stayed in college too long and lack life skills.


Attention, people who post a photo of 'nature' with a black-and-white filter so it looks like you're deep. Here's the thing. Unlike you, we didn't smoke a joint and go for a walk around Killarney National Park thinking we're some kind of artist. Yes, the photo will impress that French intern at work who follows you on Instagram. She thinks you're some kind of Samuel Beckett. We think you know how to point a Samsung Galaxy at a waterfall while high. And that's about it.


Hello to everyone who posted photos of themselves making a duck face. You didn't make any money. And you ended up looking like an out-of-work porn star. But the important thing is the duck-face craze made 14 new billionaires in Silicon Valley, and now they all live in a house made of solid gold. That should put a smile on your face. If you didn't get it surgically altered to take part in the fish-gape craze. You did? Jesus.

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