Sunday 22 April 2018

Mindful moment… Don't give in to guilt

'Holding yourself back for other people will not do you - or anybody else - any good'
'Holding yourself back for other people will not do you - or anybody else - any good'

A funny thing can happen when your dreams start to come true and the things that you've been working on for a long time start to blossom: first there's a feeling of delight and excitement... And then guilt.

Guilt that maybe you don't deserve the good fortune, and guilt that you are now going in a different direction to the people around you.

There can be a sense from those people that they don't like the changes, that they would quite like you to stay the way you were. And a bit of you might feel that that's the right thing to do, so as not to rock the boat.

But do this and before long a feeling more corrosive than guilt occurs: resentment. Holding yourself back for other people will not do you - or anybody else - any good.

Even if sometimes it feels selfish to put our own needs first, Dr Gabor Maté, an author and addiction expert says: "When it comes to the choice of feeling guilt or resentment, choose guilt every time."

And so that is what I am doing.

* Marianne Power is the author of helpmeblog.net

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