Sunday 17 November 2019

Stop the poor me talk

Marianne Power

Do you talk like a victim? Is your conversation peppered with comments about being tired, or overwhelmed or complaints about situations that are "not my fault"?

Me too. On a daily basis these are the kinds of things I say: "I'm bad with money", (message: there's nothing I can do about it, it's just the way I am). "She's so annoying", (message: it's not my fault it's hers). "If only I had more time", (it's out of my control, I'm a victim of circumstance).

According to the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, using this kind of "poor me" language becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we use it we feel victimised and weak, which makes us feel even less in control of our lives. But this can change by using 'proactive language' - such as "I'm choosing to work late to get this finished," instead of "I have to work late," or "I'm looking forward to relaxing," instead of "I'm tired".

So this week, notice how much you're putting yourself down with your speech and stop yourself.

Marianne Power is the author of

Irish Independent

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