Tuesday 24 April 2018

'People thought my anxiety was an overactive imagination' - Snapchat star Grace Mongey

Grace Mongey (FacesbyGrace) with her daughter Sienna
Grace Mongey (FacesbyGrace) with her daughter Sienna

Denise Smith

You may know her by her social media handle FacesByGrace, but behind her hugely popular blog, Grace Mongey (29) is among the mass of Irish people who struggle with anxiety and depression.

Taking to her platform to speak candidly about mental health, the mum-of-one from Tallaght believes that meditation and mindfulness were key to her recovery:

Grace Mongey and Sienna in February 2017(five months)
Grace Mongey and Sienna in February 2017(five months)

"At the peak of my struggle with anxiety, everyday life seemed like a struggle. I lost my appetite, I couldn't sleep. When I did manage to sleep, I had night terrors. My panic attacks became so intense that I couldn't work. Simple things like going to the shop became a struggle. I couldn't leave the house without feeling completely paranoid. I was convinced everyone was looking at me.

"If I was in a crowded place or a social situation, I would feel a pain in my chest or sudden waves of nausea and dizziness. I later learned this was a panic attack. As my anxiety progressed, I began to have more severe panic attacks. I experienced heart palpitations and pins and needles throughout my body and in extreme cases, I felt like my throat was constricting and I couldn't breathe.

"Although I never knew the term 'anxiety' or what it meant when I was a child, I remember having the most extreme thoughts. I was convinced my house was going to be broken into or that it was going to go on fire. Everyone just thought I was a worrier and that I had an overactive imagination.

"I was 17 when I realised something wasn't quite right. I began to withdraw from my friends and family. It was more than just exam-related anxiety or the stressors of being an average teenager. My doctor recognised that I had symptoms of anxiety and depression and I was referred to a counsellor.

Grace Mongey, aka Faces by Grace. Picture: Instagram
Grace Mongey, aka Faces by Grace. Picture: Instagram

"It was only when I moved to Australia, away from my family and friends, that I experienced the lowest point in my life. I was 25 and my whole world felt like it was falling apart. Small everyday tasks became overwhelming, I would collapse into tears and felt like I was unable to cope.

"When I came back from Australia in 2014, I was diagnosed with depression, referred to a counsellor and put on antidepressants. It was the first step in the healing process.

"After four months, I decided to come off my medication and really educate myself about anxiety and depression and that is when my life began to fall into place.

"Determined to get my blog off the ground, I threw myself into my career, along the way I met my boyfriend, Chris, and for the first time in a very long time, I put my needs first.

"I decided to invest in therapy once more. I was quite sceptical at first as I'd seen three other therapists in the past, but never really gained anything from my therapy sessions. After the first session, I could feel the change. As hard as it is to open up to someone about your past and all that you have gone through, it is relieving. Suddenly, there were answers. I realised why I was anxious and why I had been as a child, and more importantly, I was told I had every right to feel the way I did.

"I didn't have to question myself anymore. Before, I was constantly searching for this one thing that would explain why I was so anxious. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 20, which was an incredibly hard time in my life. I still miss him every day and while that contributed to my anxiety, my dad's death wasn't the only reason behind my illness.

"It was at that point when I finally realised that anxiety was part of my make up. Being anxious is normal, most of us will experience anxiety in some shape or form, but sometimes we don't even realise we are suffering.

"Our mental health is so important, and one thing we should take so much care of. Each week, we need to check in with ourselves and see are we doing okay, and remember, it is okay not to feel okay.

"It is so important to talk to people and if you don't feel comfortable opening up for family or friends, I would highly recommend speaking to a trained professional.

"I recently went back to therapy because I was feeling overwhelmed and I was putting myself under too much pressure

"When I am feeling particularly anxious or think that a panic attack is coming on, I take deep breathes and focus on living in the moment (not in my head). This is easier said then done - it takes practice. I try to practice mindfulness as much as I can and meditate when I am feeling overwhelmed. I also use sleep meditation when I am finding it hard to switch off.

"Having a support system is so important. My partner Chris is amazing. Talking to him really helps to make me see sense and the reassurance from him, and others makes me feel that what I'm going through is all in my head. The mind is so powerful and can make you believe the racing, panicked thoughts in your head are true. I learnt that I was focusing on the negative thoughts in my mind, some of which were completely fabricated and untrue, rather than living in the present moment.

"I decided very early on that my blog would be a platform where I would speak openly and honestly about mental health.

"By responding to one of my followers emails, I know I can change someone's day from a negative to a positive. I am actively changing people's outlook on their health.

"I am doing something that I never thought was possible."

• For more on Grace Mongey, visit www.facesbygrace.com or follow her on Instagram (@facesbygrace23), Twitter (@FacesByGrace) or Snapchat (Facebygrace23)

Online Editors

Life Newsletter

Our digest of the week's juiciest lifestyle titbits.

Editors Choice

Also in Life