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Ask Allison: My husband has become obsessed with fitness and spends all his spare time cycling. I am furious!

Allison Keating answers your queries about life & relationships

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Hobbies are an important form of self-expression, but must be considered alongside family connections and commitments

Hobbies are an important form of self-expression, but must be considered alongside family connections and commitments

Hobbies are an important form of self-expression, but must be considered alongside family connections and commitments

Question: My husband has had some health problems recently — he has been diagnosed with prediabetes and it gave him a fright. He is 53. In the past year he has lost weight and become very fit. He started with the gym and during the summer he started cycling with a group of lads he met through his personal trainer. He now spends all weekend cycling — no exaggeration. He no longer goes to the kids’ sports on a Saturday morning or spends any time with us as a family.

He has now announced he is using almost half his annual leave on a cycling holiday. I am a stay-at-home mother so it isn’t even a consideration as to whether it suits me or not. I have sacrificed a lot — I have no discretionary income and it sticks in my craw to see him flounce off in cycling gear that I know costs thousands. He gets defensive if I say anything and says it is all for his health. Can you help me to get some balance back in our lives? How can I get through to him without sounding bitter and furious? Because that is what I am.


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