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Ask Allison: My husband agreed to support my breastfeeding. Now he is conspiring with his mother to get me to stop. Help!

Allison Keating answers your queries about life & relationships

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The decision to breastfeed or not is a deeply personal choice for each new mother

The decision to breastfeed or not is a deeply personal choice for each new mother

The decision to breastfeed or not is a deeply personal choice for each new mother

Question: I have a three-month old baby and have been struggling a bit with breastfeeding. I am so determined to do it as I want to give my baby the best start. My husband was fully on board with my decision and for the first few weeks was fully behind me, doing everything to make sure I had everything I need. However, he has recently started suggesting that it is time to move on to bottles and that we need to start living for ourselves again. He has also mentioned that it is stopping him from bonding with the baby. I recently saw a message from his mother pop up on his WhatsApp and read it — I know I shouldn’t have — and in it she was asking if I was still at the breastfeeding and had any of her suggestions worked! I feel so betrayed by both of them. His sister never breastfed and I always felt that she viewed my decision to exclusively breastfeed as a criticism of her — as did his mum. I want to confront him about it but I feel too vulnerable. How can I trust him now and how can I have my mother-in-law in my house again? I am so angry with her for trying to interfere in my family. Help!

Allison replies: Oh, there is so much in this. Firstly, I’m so sorry you feel betrayed and unsupported. Breastfeeding is hard enough without feeling your choice is being judged and talked about behind your back. I can hear your vulnerability — three months in and you want this so much for your baby and yourself. It’s something that feels so important that you value.


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