#13weekstil30: Vicki Notaro - 'I crossed over to the dark side and the scales of balance tipped entirely the wrong way'
Help! I’ve got FOGO (fear of going out)
It’s ten days until Christmas and I’m feeling frustrated. I started this get-fit-and-shape-up mission on October 27th, almost seven weeks ago to the day. But now as I’m approaching the time when I’ll need to be at my strongest mentally and most resistant to temptation, my resolve is weakening.
Actually, that’s not strictly true – my resolve is as strong as the day I started, stronger perhaps because I’ve been seeing the visible benefits of eating well and exercising, and feeling the invisible ones also. But because I’m not restricting myself to an elimination diet and no fun whatsoever, I’m on a slippery slope that’s threatening to hurtle me back down to square one.
I was realistic when I started this mission. I am a good time gal, someone who loves to eat dinner out, have a few drinks and enjoy the vibrant social life Dublin has to offer. I wanted to make fitness a part of my life and shape up along the way without feeling hard done by, and while that would mean some social life sacrifices, I knew that was what it takes. I was never going to be the girl eating steak for breakfast, giving up bread entirely or eschewing alcohol altogether.
But this week I crossed over to the dark side and the scales of balance tipped entirely the wrong way. I bought a box of pralines and steadily worked my way through them. I went out two nights in a row and drank sugary cocktails. I ate crisps and Chinese food, late at night. And worst of all, I only went to the gym three times, two of them fairly lacklustre occasions. When I work out with Mairead at One Escape she pushes and challenges me, always forcing me to up my game. When I take a class or work out by myself, it’s easy to lift the lighter weights or do a few less reps.
I blame Christmas. In fairness to me, I managed to get through a weekend in the foodie capital of the world, Copenhagen, without going OTT, and even celebrated getting engaged in a relatively moderate fashion. But at this time of the year, everyone is going hell for leather with food and drink to the point where excess is not only normalised, it’s celebrated.
The result is that I’m now terrified of having fun – the FOGO (that’s fear of going out) is real. Every time I’ve yo-yo dieted in the past, it was a big celebration that knocked me off track. I’d have a few drinks, a late night pizza. The next day tired and lazy, I’d order another takeaway and maybe have a few treats – because what’s a duvet day without some chocolate? And before I knew it, I’d be so far off the wagon it would trundle off without me.
So now I must rein it in with the exception of December 25th and 26th. There are six weeks to go until my 30th birthday, and I will be so disappointed in myself if I don’t continue in the spirit I started this mission with. Yes, there’s vanity involved in my quest but more than that, there’s mental and physical wellbeing. I don’t want to lose my gumption, and I don’t want to feel like a failure yet again.
Today I’m back in the gym, where I’ll be at least four times this week. There will be no more pralines, no more crisps, no more takeaways at all, and no more throwing caution to the wind. I will enjoy the festive season, but I refuse to use it as an excuse for yet another tumble off the wagon.
If anyone has any motivational tips, words of wisdom or just relates, you can find me on Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat under the username @vickinotaro