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Ask Allison: 'My mum is such a narcissist - my wife has had enough of her'

Our resident therapist answers your queries about sex and relationships

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Q My mum is 71 years old and is turning into a complete monster. She's got arthritis and seems to think that she's the only lady in the world that has a disease and doesn't care about anyone else's problems. Both my wife and I are at her beck and call and we live over an hour away. We go to stay with her a few days a week to do her shopping, rubbish, maintenance, take her to medical appointments and anything else that needs doing, including mowing her acre of lawns. Lately she's become very rude and ignorant towards my wife and won't make eye contact with her and she's speaking to me like I'm her slave. It's causing my marriage a whole lot of problems. She has no one else to help her. She has no filter. I've tried talking to her but she is such a narcissist she won't admit she's being like this. My wife wants me to choose, which I think is unfair, too. Please help.

A This is such a distressing situation you are all in. It sounds like you are all experiencing a lot of pain.

Has there been a change in your mum's demeanour or behaviour of late, or is this how she has always been? Or has she changed since her diagnosis? Do you have any cognitive decline concerns or have there been any personality changes?