Drunk tanks a boozer's delight
It's Christmas Eve. You're in the drunk tank. And if new proposals in Britain are adopted here, it could cost you about €500 to get out.
Our neighbours have had enough of paying for piss-heads to sleep it off.
They are calling for a new disincentive where, after a night of heavy drinking, you could be charged a fortune to get out of a privately run drunk tank. Or as it's known in Dublin on the weekend of a major sports event, a hotel.
There's the reason it might never work here. You know the way prices go in Dublin when there's a big event in town. The drunk tank might actually be a cheaper alternative than a room in a city- centre hotel.
Particularly when you consider that the cops would have to drop you over there, which also saves on the price of a taxi.
It's not hard to imagine people coming up for a concert and dropping their bags to the drunk tank before heading off to Temple Bar. "Does the charge include a full-Irish when I wake up, chief?" "It does not." "Grand, I'll make sure to have two burgers so, before I get done for peeing on Grafton Street."
There is of course another reason why a drunk tank would never work here. Being sent to one anywhere else in the world would be a form of public disgrace. End up in Hotel Drunk Tank here and you'd probably put it straight up on Facebook. Followed by 200 comments saying "go on, ya boy ya".