The baffling 105-minute rule is the latest example of the government treating us like unruly schoolkids

Tanya Sweeney

'I’m not going to lie to you, I’m kinda running out of gas,' Late Late Show host Ryan Tubridy has said

Oscar winner Emma Stone has named her daughter Louise Jean

The 105-minute rule is due to hit pubs

'I’m not going to lie to you, I’m kinda running out of gas,' Late Late Show host Ryan Tubridy has said

Oscar winner Emma Stone has named her daughter Louise Jean

The 105-minute rule is due to hit pubs

May 27 2021 12:29 AM

If you’re anything like me, you’ll have imagined the following scenario time and time again in your mind’s eye for the last 15 months.

You are in an indoor restaurant, hearing the chattering of people: even better, they’re people that you don’t share a house with. Someone hands you food, and a drink, neither of which you have to prepare or clear away afterwards. You are feeling the warming glow of a couple of drinks. The conversation — the type of which you’ve not had in months — is going at full pelt.

Now, imagine a scenario in which you have been there at this lovely indoor eatery, for 104 minutes. Do you (a) look at your watch and go, ‘Ah, that was fun, and we were probably just getting started, but sure I’ll see you next time we can book a table, so probably October?’

Or do you (b) want this beery bonhomie to continue and think, ‘let’s try and spend 105 minutes in another drinking and eating establishment... in fact, let’s book three or four pubs back-to-back and make a real night of it?’

If you believe that most Irish people will plump for the former, you either have too firm a grasp on denial, and not nearly enough on your estimation of Irish people.

Because we are not folks who like to sup on the clock.

Fáilte Ireland guidelines for the reopening of hospitality, drawn up ahead of Friday’s Cabinet meeting at which ministers are due to look at further easing of Covid restrictions in June and July, make for curious reading.

Outdoor service is permitted for a maximum of six people aged 13 or over per table. This limit of six does not include accompanying children aged 12 or younger. That amounts to 15 total, including kids. There will be no live music indoors (and an 11.30pm curfew). Strangely, if you are a hotel resident, you can sup and eat away to your liking, without any time limit imposed.

Now, I’m no scientist, so perhaps this 105-minute rule imposed on indoor diners is in fact couched in logical science and the result of extensive epidemiological research. But given our Government’s evident predilection for treating citizens like unruly schoolkids throughout the pandemic, I wouldn’t bet my house on it.

After 15 months of compliance on the part of most people, this micromanaging of citizens with random rules and nonsensical directives is starting to chafe.

Now, of course I want to keep people safe and well. Naturally, I want to minimise the risk of staff who are working in these hospitality environments. And I’m happy enough to live my daily life with the odd caveat, whether it’s the use of mask and hand sanitiser, or maintaining a physical distance from others.

What I do mind are caveats imposed on my daily life that don’t seem to be grounded in any sort of real sense.

NPHET have long insisted that their directives and guidelines have been based on science. Yet it’s fair to assume the powers-that-be lost the room somewhat with their science blather when they suggested that pub patrons order a €9 meal along with their drink.

For all I know, chicken goujons are the silver bullet we never knew we needed. The two-metre rule imposed on establishments last year also appears to be rendered moot.

There’s a sense that with the 105-minute rule, we have crossed a rubicon of sorts in Ireland. These ‘guidelines’ are starting to read less like the actions of a government trying to ensure the welfare of its citizens, and more like the impulses of a body attempting to keep people in their place. Attempting, and ultimately failing.

Explainer: What do Fáilte Ireland’s new guidelines mean for my next restaurant visit, hotel stay, or pint in the local pub?

Ryan Tubridy’s burnt out; aren’t we all?

As The Late Late Show strides/whimpers/crawls to the end of the season this week, its host Ryan Tubridy has admitted to feeling burnt out.

“I’m not going to lie to you, I’m kinda running out of gas, that’s the truth of it,” he told viewers of his RTE Radio programme earlier this week.

'I’m not going to lie to you, I’m kinda running out of gas,' Late Late Show host Ryan Tubridy has said

He’s certainly not alone: according to a New Yorker report, three out of five workers around the world say they are burnt out. Exhaustion, cynicism, loss of efficacy are the markers of this very modern affliction.

A sense that you seem to be working harder but accomplishing less might seem like part and parcel of the times we live in, but apparently this points to a very real fatigue.

Ironically, experts suggest that setting aside relaxation time, making exercise a priority and drinking alcohol in moderation are effective ways to combat this. Which is all very well, if that’s what we haven’t been doing, constantly and repeatedly, for the last year.

Here’s the thing. A year of monochrome living, without the usual distractions, stimulants or amenities that give life texture, is definitely going to take a toll. But a change is as good as a rest, and change is very much on the way. Tubridy himself has revealed that he will take a few weeks off to ‘regroup’.

After a particularly challenging year, The Late Late Show would probably benefit from a similar regroup.

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Emma Stone in ‘normal’ baby name shocker

I may have given my own daughter a name that some have difficulty pronouncing, but I still applaud Emma Stone, for naming her first child such a refreshingly normal name that it almost borders on the radical. The 32-year-old Cruella actress recently welcomed baby Louise Jean, named in a touching tribute to her grandmother Jean Louise.

Oscar winner Emma Stone has named her daughter Louise Jean

In a town where giving one’s offspring a unique, show-stopping name like Apple, Banjo or Bear-Blaz has become an exhausting exercise in one-upmanship, kudos is due to Oscar winner Emma for taking the most coolly unusual step of all.