In 2018, a new father left his house carrying his tiny four-week-old daughter in a sling. A pretty unremarkable event. Except this wasn’t any man, it was James Bond — the actor Daniel Craig.
hotos of Craig were printed in the press and TV host Piers Morgan bemoaned that Craig had “emasculated 007”. It resulted in a huge amount of discourse in papers, on radio stations, on social media and on TV. Some sided with Morgan (who subsequently backtracked on the comments, claiming they were humorous), while a much more vocal majority agreed his comments were inane.
What is a sufficiently masculine way to transport an infant, some asked. Dribbling them down the street like a football?
The trivial incident may have revealed something deeper.
That is a substantial shift in our perception of the role of a modern-day father, and the increasing visibility of ‘celebrity dads’ and how they shape, challenge and inform our attitudes towards masculinity, the family, and fatherhood.
“Celebrity in general tends to be kind of fulfilling a role that was once played by religion and things like that which have subsequently declined,” Dr Anthony McIntyre, of UCD Film Department, and author of Contemporary Irish Popular Culture: Transnationalism, Regionality, and Diaspora says.
“It’s a way of modelling your behaviour, a script to live your life by. Often what we see celebrities doing helps shape our own views and how we can orient ourselves in the world.”
Over the years, celebrity dads doing fairly ordinary things have sparked heated debate. Why have these incidents resonated so deeply at both an individual and societal level?
Ashton Kutcher, Russell Brand and the politics of ‘nappy duty’
In 2015, Ashton Kutcher received a lot of virtual back-patting when he complained about the lack of baby-changing facilities in men’s restrooms. “You may not realise how sexist public bathrooms are until you’re a parent,” he said on social media.
His shout-out resulted in positive press and placed him in the category of celebrity dads who are more than happy to change nappies.
This list also includes musician John Legend (the face of the Pampers ‘Stinky Booty Duty’ campaign), Brian O’Driscoll, Chris Martin (who said he found the process mentally cleansing) and David Beckham, who told OK! Magazine that changing nappies is “one of my passions” (which may seem a trifle over-enthusiastic.)
On the other side of the fence, you have the celebrity dads who are still not willing to get their hands dirty.
Russell Brand famously said he didn’t do it because he was too “focused on the mystical connotations” of his daughter’s “beauty and grace”, while Simon Cowell “leaves that to the nanny”.
On one level, celebrity dads being celebrated for changing nappies is totally infuriating. It is indisputable that a mother would never, ever get praise for such a basic level of childcare.
Dr Lee Gettler, a professor of Anthropology at the University of Notre Dame, says the praise we give dads for completing such tasks is revealing. “The bar for fathers is so low sometimes,” he says. “We are patting dads on the back for doing these basic activities that moms have been doing for decades and centuries… We are not holding dads to the same level of public expectation necessarily that moms are held to… There is a double standard there.”
But the conversation around changing nappies does hint at a shift in the domestic roles fathers play in nuclear heterosexual family structures.
In the US, the amount of time fathers spend with their children has tripled since the 1960s. And the type of care-giving they provide has also shifted. “There was this tendency for dads to specialise in the more fun activities, recreation or leisure activities,” Dr Gettler explains.
“More recently there has been some change in how that time has been allocated. So dads are doing more of the routine, hands on, maybe less enjoyable activities.”
This is partially down to the emergence of more dual-income households, and the spread of democracy in society at large. Women are demanding more equality in all aspects of their lives: both personal and professional.
Dr David Ralph, an assistant professor in Trinity College’s Sociology Department, says this percolates down to the household and “to real issues, like who is going to change nappies”. “Democracy is not an abstract thing, it is real and messy,” he says.
Ryan Reynolds and the stay-at-home dads
Deadpool star Ryan Reynolds has become something of a self-effacing celebrity superdad in recent years. He’s deprecating about fatherhood but has a very hands-on role. Last year, he announced he was taking a step back from films to spend time with his children. “I’m no less busy, I’m just home more,” he said.
This reflects an increase in the US and in Ireland in the number of stay-at-home dads (SAHD); between the years 2001 and 2017, SAHDs doubled in Ireland, according to the CSO.
Parenting expert and author of 15 Minute Parenting, Joanna Fortune, says having high-profile dads invert parenting stereotypes is beneficial. “Increased representation of the so-called ‘hands-on dad’ is helpful in opening up discourse on modern parenting and challenging dated stereotypes.
“There is a shifting attitude that celebrates a move away from stereotypes of dad’s role being the rough-and-tumble play or bringing kids to sports activities and opens up the importance of dads being capable of the soothing and comforting care-giving side of parenthood too.”
Modern Day L’Enfant: The Rock’s ‘dadicures’ and David Beckham’s kisses
David Beckham’s decision to share photos of himself kissing his daughter Harper on the lips often results in online debates, and often criticism.
“I kiss all my kids on the lips,” he said in response. “We want to show our kids love and we protect them, look after them, and support them, and we’re very affectionate with them.”
Dr Anthony McIntyre thinks this expression of affection may have caused consternation for two reasons, the first being that “there’s a sense there is no collective script for this”.
He also believes it taps into a deeper societal questioning of what it means to be a man.
The feminisation of the labour force, he says, has altered men’s role in society and “unsettled the coordinates” of masculinity.
“At the heart of that was the whole idea of a patriarchal presence of being the father, of being the breadwinner… all that seems to become unsettled in the second half of the 20th century and into the 21st century,” he says.
“This means there is a lot of discourse around what a man should be, and a lot of tension. And we see that in things like uproar if Daniel Craig is wearing a papoose, or David Beckham kisses his daughter on the lips. That becomes a big story and ‘Is this something a father does?’
“There seems to be an uncertainty about how to be a father, uncertainty on how to be a man. That is reflected in a cultural fascination with the father and what is the right way to father.”
Many of the celebrity dads who garner the most headlines or cause the most discussion tend to be a sort of ‘action men’ — who play superheroes (John Cena, Ryan Reynolds) or are sport stars (David Beckham).
At a very superficial level, these men can seem to embody the dichotomy of old-world ideas of masculinity (strength, power) with more modern-day interpretations of maleness (gentle, nurturing, kind).
This may explain why there is such a reaction when Beckham kisses his daughter or Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson gets his nails painted (dubbed a ‘dadicure’) by his youngest daughter. In a way, it’s a modern-day version of the famous 1987 poster L’Enfant in which a naked muscle man cradled his newborn child.
Joanna Fortune believes it is essential that we encourage affection and interaction like this between children and their parents. And seeing high-profile stars kiss or be openly nurturing with their children can be beneficial to others.
“[They] do help to challenge the presumed norms that the nurturing, soothing and functional care are the role of a mum and show they are simply parental roles. It is important that our children see and know that their nurture needs can be met by both/either parent equally."
Ricky Martin and the yearning to be a father
As the definitions of families broaden, so do our understanding of fatherhood.
In 2010, Ricky Martin spoke openly about his desire to have children, and how grief-stricken he became when he thought it would not be a possibility.
“Many years I dreamt of being a father and many, many, many times I went through this grieving process because I am a gay, I am a closeted gay man, and I am not going to be able to be a daddy,” he told Oprah Winfrey.
Hearing a man discuss his longing and ambition to be a father at the time was unusual.
“There have been a lot of more stories about people yearning to be a father that wouldn’t have been culturally acceptable a few decades ago,” Dr McIntyre says.
“So the idea of a men wanting to be fathers and feeling this nurturing need... We do seem to be able to talk about it more than we used to.”
Martin has also openly discussed his and his husband Jwan Yosef’s surrogacy journey.
Closer to home, Brian Dowling and his husband, Arthur Gourounlian, are making a documentary about having a child, with Dowling’s sister acting as surrogate.
These high-profile examples of same sex families, and the complexity of their journeys to parenthood, raise visibility and show how family, and fatherhood, has evolved and diversified.
