Dr David Coleman: My tips for taking the stress out of holidaying with children – of any age

From babies to teenagers, going away for a break can be a lot of work. But there are ways to ease the burden

Family holidays are back on the agenda this year. Picture posed

Dr David Coleman

June 22 2022 02:30 AM

The extensive queues at Dublin airport at the start of June are a clear sign that, post-Covid, everyone is dying to get away. I can imagine that most families that can afford it will be trying to have a holiday this year. Travelling with your family can be stressful, even if you aren’t afraid of missing your flight because you are stuck in a queue.

There is nothing worse than watching your careful holiday planning going to waste. Between accidents happening abroad, mystery illnesses, dodgy accommodation, too much heat, challenging food and over-travelled or over-tired children, it is a wonder we ever go away on holidays at all.

Small babies are often the easiest to transport, even though they come with a lot of extra “stuff”. But if you are holidaying in Ireland, you can pack the car with all those bits and you could get most of your journey achieved while they sleep. Their nap times might also coincide with time to have a siesta yourself or do a bit of sightseeing. Your holiday with a baby can still be about doing the things you like to do.

Indeed, it isn’t until children get a bit more mobile that it becomes more effortful to take them places. Toddlers can be demanding, impetuous, heedless and determined. At home that can be a challenge. Put them in a car, or an airplane, for several hours and it can become nightmarish.

While travelling with toddlers, it might be tempting to just let them overdose on a digital diet of cartoons on whatever device holds the best charge, but even if the journey is manageable, there will be inevitable fallout when the screen time draws to a close. Best to mix up any screentime with movement, stories, audiobooks, paper and crayons or any game that you think might engage them.

When you are away, however, toddlers and preschoolers are often the easiest to entertain. Playing on a beach can soak up hours of fun, for a toddler, where an older child or teenager might get bored and grumpy. Kids’ Clubs in resorts also come into their own for this age group and might give you a couple of quiet hours to yourself. Be wary though, that disrupting their routines may actually cause them some stress or anxiety. So do bear in mind that even being in a great holiday destination might actually be stressful for your small child.

If your children are primary school age you may already have noticed that they can be the easiest to take on holiday. Children this age are curious and might enjoy being in new surroundings. They are also often the most appreciative and the promise of an ice-cream at the end of the outing is usually enough to get them through any moments of tiredness or disinterest.

Again, lots of parents will plan for children’s clubs and other organised activities, wherever they are staying. One of the benefits of that, I always feel, is that they provide a ready-made social meeting point. Even if the activity programme isn’t overly inspiring, the potential for friendships can be a real benefit. If your holiday is based in a single destination, then your child or children making friends early-on can “make” their holiday.

Like younger children, they will need some form of entertainment while travelling, although they may be more interested in the actual moments of departure and arrival if you are travelling by ferry, train or airplane.

Teenagers can be hit and miss as holiday companions. Sometimes the destination, or the activity hits the right mark and other times the moaning can begin early. The potential for making friendships on holiday is, I think, even more important for teenagers. Again, focusing your holiday around a known location or a particular kind of activity increases the likelihood of them meeting same-age peers.

Whatever age your children are, it will be important to talk in advance about what you expect the holiday to entail. This will help with the planning, but more importantly, you may have to manage expectations about what can be achieved, whether that is about what the budget can stretch to, or what your patience can stretch to.

While you have probably already decided that meeting the needs of your children is most important in planning your family holiday, I think it is also important that your own needs are met. So, if you need some time lazing on a beach, plan for this. If you need to see some local cultural or historical sights, then make sure time is set aside for sightseeing. If you don’t meet some of your own needs, it is quite possible you may end up resenting the investment you have made in the holiday.

Covid played havoc with travel plans in the last couple of years, so this year it would be nice to get the break that you deserve. If you do manage to get away on a family holiday this year, then I hope you enjoy it.