A dietitian’s eight-step plan to addressing fussy eating in your toddler

Getting children to accept new foods is a huge parenting challenge, but with some simple steps, it can be done

Dietitian Orla Walsh. Photo: Owen Breslin

Orla Walsh

March 08 2023 02:30 AM

Many areas of raising a young child are challenging. The good news is, nearly every parent goes through it. You are not alone. For example, you’d be hard pushed to find a parent who is well-rested. Also, it’s rare enough for a child to eat absolutely everything and most children go through a fussy eating stage.

My son certainly put us through our paces, going from a child who ate everything, to a child who ate very few foods, all within a matter of days. If you’re tackling this at home, or feel like you want to be more prepared, what are the first steps?

1. It’s important that they don’t see an emotional response from you. You need to work on your poker face. It’s easier said than done, and there are times you will crack. You’re a human being, and it can be stressful and frustrating.

2. Recognise that this could be a display of independence. They now know that they can say no, and they quite enjoy it. It’s my daughter’s favourite word, which she teams with a two-handed swishing gesture to let us know how firm she is on her choice. Know when the battle is lost and trust that they’ll probably eat more at another meal in the near future. Do not offer an alternative to the meal or food they’ve turned down.

3. Offering them a chance to pick one of two or three items can be a win-win situation. For example, would you like a pear, apple or banana? Or would you like yellow or orange cheese? They feel like they’re choosing, but ultimately you’re still managing their grub.

4. Avoid milk prior to meals, or lots of water for that matter. Kids don’t recognise the feeling of thirst all that well, so it’s important to offer them fluids regularly. However, don’t let them fill up on fluids in the 30 minutes before a meal. It can be a good habit to offer them a drink after they eat, rather than before or with meals.

5. Additionally, because their nutrient targets are so high compared to their calorie needs, the focus needs to be on meals rather than milk. If they get two cups of milk a day as well as some cheese or yoghurt, you’ll be making sure they get enough calcium.

6. Sometimes you might feel like this is all an act where they’re simply looking for attention. This could be partly true. After all, what gets a parent’s attention more than a child who is refusing to eat? If you can, try to spend some one-on-one time with your child before their meal, so they feel like they’ve had your undivided attention already. For example, read them their favourite book. It’s trickier when you’re outnumbered by your children. However, you could always let the fussy eater choose what book you’re reading to all of them, or on days when their sibling chooses, let them sit closely by your side. Extra kisses may be required!

7. One common reason kids don’t eat enough at meals is that they love snacks. Most children would happily live on fruit, oat bars and yoghurt. A child’s stomach, like an adult’s stomach, is a muscular bag. Unlike an adult, it’s pretty small and fills up quickly. Ideally, don’t offer a snack in the two hours prior to a meal.

8. Finally, they may be nervous trialling new foods. If you were to sum up the most important thing to focus on, I would say it is to create stress-free mealtimes (as much as possible, you are all human). Children need to feel safe, not judged. Over time, they’ll use their senses to suss out the new food. They’ll look at it, touch it to feel its texture, bring it up to their nose to smell it and rub it against their lips to figure out the taste. They may try it straightaway or they make take a while going through these steps. They may love it or they may taste it over 10 times before accepting it. It can be a quick or a painfully slow process. Your job is simply to keep offering it and pretend you don’t care whether they eat it or not. Remember your game face, act as if you’re super chilled if they eat it, or nonchalant if they spit it out. Breezy breezy.