Thursday 19 April 2018

These 7 rules for visiting a newborn have gone viral

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Stock photo
Aoife Kelly

Aoife Kelly

Who can resist the sniff of a newborn baby's head? Well, you should resist, unless the baby is your own. So says one of seven rules about visiting newborn babies which have gone viral on Facebook.

While the excitement about a new arrival can prompt an endless stream of enthusiastic visitors who want to kiss, squish, tickle, feed and cuddle, there are some boundaries which need to be established.

The seven rules are written by Tina Madelina, certified labour and brith doula, from the point of view of the baby and while they were shared in 2015, they're doing the rounds again.

“Hi. I am a newborn so naturally everyone in my family is a pro when it comes to handling me,” Madelina writes.

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“However, when it comes to visitors, my parents are constantly having to have to play the ‘bad guys’.”

Every new parent knows the trauma of well-meaning visitors going one step too far, so here are Tina's pointers on how to visit without causing issues.

They are not, she says, meant to be taken as judgemental towards other people's parenting styles but have been provided to support and encourage discussion.

DO NOT KISS ME

The urge to plant a smacker on those chubby cheeks must be resisted. You do not want to be the cause of giving the baby an infection.

“Do not kiss me, anywhere, at any time, no matter how delicious I look,” Madelina writes.

“In fact, do not put your face anywhere near my face or my hands and make sure you wash your hands before touching me anywhere."

DO NOT TAKE ME OUT OF MY CARRIER

“Do not take me out of the carrier under any circumstance,” says Madelina.  "My friends and I tend to be sensitive to your clothes, detergent, excessive perfumes/colognes, so just keep me in my carrier and I'll play nice."

KEEP YOUR OWN MUNCHKINS AWAY

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Babies' immune systems are not equipped to cope with infection and your child may be carrying germs from creche or elsewhere that could cause serious issues for the newbie.

“I am born a germaphobe and it may take me a couple of months to adjust to this yucky world,” explains the baby.

DON'T TRY TO SETTLE ME IF I CRY

If, or rather when, baby cries, give him or her back to her mum or dad.  All they want is mum or dad.

DON'T LINGER TOO LONG

Babies are enrapturing and it's easy to lose track of the time, but limit your visit to less than an hour.

“I get hungry, sleepy, poopy, and fussy around the clock,” Madelina writes.

“If you want to visit me, plan to come for less than an hour so mommy and daddy can get back to giving me their undivided attention instead of hosting you!”

I WILL SPIT UP ON YOU

“Listen, you wanted to hold me, burp me, swaddle me, soothe me (see above), so now deal with it. Like I said, this is what I do - AROUND THE CLOCK!”

DON'T EXPECT NOVELS ON WHATSAPP FROM MUM

You want to know everything about the new baby, but mum and dad are busier than they've ever been in their lives so don't get the hump if they don't respond immediately.

“Please don't expect my Mommy to call you, text or post a million photos on FB,” Madelina writes.

“She's taking good care of me and would rather stare at my sweet face than her phone."

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