Monday 22 January 2018

'It is like going on a date. . . you don't know much about them at first'

Social network: Aisling Dalton with Isabella and Ava
Social network: Aisling Dalton with Isabella and Ava

Drumcondra-based mum-of-two Aisling Dalton sees the humorous side of becoming a new mother and all that goes with it.

"It can be a bit weird making new friends. My husband says it is like going on a date with someone. You don't know who they are or much about them at first."

Making the first move can be difficult. "You don't want to ask someone do they want to come over to your house in case they think you are a psycho," Aisling laughs.

"For new mothers, I would recommend meeting in a neutral venue like a coffee shop. At the initial meeting you really form your opinions."

Aisling is kept busy with her two daughters Isabella (two) and Ava (four) but found the transition to motherhood a big change from working in a large accountancy firm.

"I was the first out of my school friends to have a baby. I had no baby friends. There was one girl at work who had a baby at the same time. She lived on the southside so we used to ring each other every day. It was a lifeline. We would talk about feeding and if we had managed to get dressed that day!"

Becoming a mother has hidden advantages and can often make you better at making new friends.

"After I had Ava the visitors died down after a while and there weren't a lot of people around. I joined a playlab in Marino and made some really good friends. There is one friend I am still in contact with regularly. You really have to make an effort to be more open and meet people."

Aisling now has two groups of friends who happily coexist. "I made totally different friends when I became a mother. I have my old friends and my mammy friends."

She agrees meeting new people can sometimes lead to tricky situations.

"Parenting can be competitive. I remember going to one parenting group and when I told a mum I didn't breastfeed she just looked at me and walked off.

"I have met lots of lovely people and we will probably be friends for life. It is lovely to have that common ground of motherhood."

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