You say "Oh my baby slept through the night from six weeks."
The truth She did sleep through the night from six weeks -- once.
You say "My son just loves pulses and wholemeal pasta."
The truth He eats cheesy pasta or baked beans every night.
You say "Jessica is only allowed her DS on the weekends for one hour."
The truth Jessica gets her DS whenever mummy needs five minutes' peace.
You say "I try to do some sort of baking with the kids every week."
The truth You hardly ever do baking with the kids but when you do you suddenly remember why you never do baking with the kids.
You say "We have very strict bedtimes in our house so that we can spend some quality time together as a couple."
The truth You always get the kids out of the way as quickly as possible so that you can get stuck into the wine.