Monday 23 October 2017

10 things they should tell you about having a baby girl (especially no. 5!)

Even in 1952 baby girls liked their pink.
Even in 1952 baby girls liked their pink.

Katie Gunn,

A word of warning for any prospective parents out there - if you end up having a girl, you might want to be prepared in advance.

If you already have one, then it's too late for you - but you might recognise some of these things people really should tell you first ...

1. As soon as you announce the arrival of your little princess, an unwritten rule will come into effect: All gifts must be pink. Unless they are purple. Any friends or family deviating from this list should be made the Godparents as they have obviously been through this previously.

2. Girls don't wee in the air.

3. The rhythm is gonna get her. She will shake that little booty before she even learns to walk. Soon she will be dancing like Beyonce in front of Uncle John whilst you mumble about inappropriate somethings and not knowing where she got it from.

4. Unlike boys, your daughter will happily sit in a corner drawing on one piece of paper with one crayon for an hour. If you have boys this will be hard to believe but it is actually true. For real like.

5. Your home will begin to look like the inside of Katie Price's wedding carriage. But not quite so tasteful.

6. No matter how much you plead, cajole or threaten your daughter, she will NOT wear the blue dress. SHE will choose her own clothes thank you very much. This will result in her looking like the outside of Katie Price's wedding carriage. But not quite so tasteful.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM - MARCH 26: Katie Price poses at a photocall to launch KP Equestrian at The Worx Studio's on March 26, 2013 in London, England. (Photo by Fred Duval/Getty Images)


7. All little brothers or other members of the household should be advised that there is a new chief in town. Make sure that they are used to being bossed around. They WILL be bossed around.

8. Beware of glitter. It might seem like your friend on a rainy Friday afternoon when there's nothing else to do, but you will still be sweeping it up on Monday evening - after you realise that you've already done the school run twice with purple twinkles in your hair of course.

9. Mothers: she will have power over your other half like you could only dream of. Daddy's little girl is alive and kicking up a fuss - and be in no doubt - she will get her way.


10. Naked blondes will start appearing in your bed. It doesn't matter how pretty the dresses are - those girls just can't wait to whip them off and tuck those naked barbies into bed. Any bed. In fact it doesn't have to be barbies, or blondes, or dolls for that matter. Teddies, zoo animals, little brothers will all do too. I've even witnessed a couple of sticks being tucked up and sung a lullaby. The force is strong with this one.

Now what others have I missed?

This blogpost originally appeared on is a new take on parenting websites, covering a wide range of topics relevant to real Irish parents and the highs and lows of raising children in 21st century Ireland.  Find them also on Twitter and Facebook.

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