‘I became a granny at 43, now I have four grandchildren’ – young Irish grandparents share their stories and advice

With Ronan Keating becoming a grandfather at 46, we spoke to other young Irish grandparents about their experiences

Sharon Dooley with her two-year-old grandchild Robin near Mountbellew, Co Galway. Photo: Ray Ryan

New grandfather Ronan Keating with his wife, Storm Keating, during London Fashion Week 2023. Photo: Christian Vierig/Getty Images

Sharon Dooley with her grandchildren Robin (2) and Tadhg (4). Photo: Ray Ryan

Deirdre and Pat Flannelly with their grandchildren Shauna (24), Niamh (19), Emma (14), Daniel (8), Aoife (5), Olivia (4), Ronan (21 months), and twins Seán and Oisín, who are nearly one.

Sharon Dooley with her two-year-old grandchild Robin near Mountbellew, Co Galway. Photo: Ray Ryan

New grandfather Ronan Keating with his wife, Storm Keating, during London Fashion Week 2023. Photo: Christian Vierig/Getty Images

Sharon Dooley with her grandchildren Robin (2) and Tadhg (4). Photo: Ray Ryan

Deirdre and Pat Flannelly with their grandchildren Shauna (24), Niamh (19), Emma (14), Daniel (8), Aoife (5), Olivia (4), Ronan (21 months), and twins Seán and Oisín, who are nearly one.

Sharon Dooley with her two-year-old grandchild Robin near Mountbellew, Co Galway. Photo: Ray Ryan

Arlene Harris

March 15 2023 05:00 AM

With last week’s news that he has become a grandfather at 46, Ronan Keating joins the somewhat exclusive club of grandparents under 50.

In a time when the average age of first-time parents in Ireland is 32, most people are not welcoming grandchildren until they are in their early- to mid-60s.

The former Boyzone front man, together with his ex-wife Yvonne Connolly, are reportedly thrilled with the news that their son Jack has become a father at the age of 23. They are, no doubt, looking forward to spending quality time with their granddaughter.

Keating is a father of five. His youngest child, with second wife Storm Keating, has not yet reached her third birthday. So he is well used to keeping up with energetic small children. And this, according to fellow young grandparent Sharon Dooley, is part of the charm.

With seven children and four grandchildren, the 48-year-old – who is married to Henry – says that being a young grandmother is a hugely positive experience.

“I had my children young, so being a grandmother at 43 didn’t feel unusual,” she says. “I have way more energy than I would if I was older and also feel that I can relate better to them.

"Because I’m not long past that [baby-caring] stage myself, I am more aware of modern parenting guidelines such as putting children to sleep on their backs and other safety issues – things I wouldn’t have been able to relate to my mother about.

New grandfather Ronan Keating with his wife, Storm Keating, during London Fashion Week 2023. Photo: Christian Vierig/Getty Images

“So, because I am younger, my children can seek my advice and ask me about anything. My daughter also wanted me to be with her and her husband at the birth of their first child. By comparison, when I was first pregnant, the questions I had wouldn’t have been talked about by the older generation.

“My grandchildren are also able to relate to me better. For example, last week during the snow, my grandson Tadhg called me on video chat to ask if I would come and make a snowman with him.

"So being a young grandmother means that I can have more fun with them than I could when my children were young because I don’t have the added responsibility of being their parent.”

However, the Galway woman, whose youngest child (now 11) “became an auntie at the age of six”, says while having a lot of energy is a bonus, she also has her own life to live. This sometimes means she isn’t as available as a more traditional grandparent might be.

Sharon Dooley with her grandchildren Robin (2) and Tadhg (4). Photo: Ray Ryan

“When my daughter first became a parent, I decided to lay down the guidelines from the start and have strict boundaries,” says Ms Dooley. “So Wednesday is my day to have her two children (her other two grandchildren live in Kildare), so she can do her own thing.

"Obviously if the day needs changing we can do that, but we agreed at the start that I would do one day because I am very busy myself.

"I have my own job (as a self-love coach and motivational speaker) and am still raising my own children as there are four still at home (aged between 11 and 17) and my 18-year-old is home from college at weekends.

“So it has been really important to have those guidelines in place because I’m not retired and can’t babysit for them full-time as perhaps an older person who isn’t working might be able to.”

Deidre and Pat Flannelly were also busy with work when their first grandchildren arrived on the scene. They were, in fact, a long way from retirement as they were both in their late 30s when their first granddaughter was born 24 years ago.

“We didn't expect to become grandparents at such a young age but the odds were high considering we were young parents ourselves,” says Ms Flannelly. “Although the role of nana and granddad were too premature, we did our best to support our daughter and her partner when Shauna came along.

"But life was very busy. Pat, (a retired pilot) was flying full time and over-night layovers were the norm. I was working part-time (with the ESB) and had two teens to look after, so we weren’t there as much as we would have liked.

Deirdre and Pat Flannelly with their grandchildren Shauna (24), Niamh (19), Emma (14), Daniel (8), Aoife (5), Olivia (4), Ronan (21 months), and twins Seán and Oisín, who are nearly one.

“Since we retired, we definitely feel more fulfilled as grandparents and are free for school pickups or being available when needed. Living in close proximity to our three children (and nine grandchildren – aged between one and 24) is a blessing.”

Since we retired, we definitely feel more fulfilled as grandparents

The Dublin woman, who is called ‘Nana Deeda’ by her grandchildren, says that while people assumed she and her husband were older than their years, they wouldn’t have it any other way.

“The gift of having met and loved all our grandchildren is a blessing beyond words,” she says. “We definitely have a more active relationship with them and see the younger ones on a daily basis.

"We have had many outings and trips with them over the years, with and without their parents. Our contemporaries, who have not yet become grandparents, have voiced envy at the position we are in now.

“So I would advise anyone who is about to become a young grandparent, to go with the flow and embrace the experience.”

Ms Dooley – who is called Mamo by her grandchildren – says that although she was never stigmatised by anyone about becoming a grandmother at a young age, she has found herself justifying it to others.

“More often than not, when I’m out with my grandchildren, people think they are my own. When I tell them that I’m their grandmother, they are amazed at how young I look,” she says.

“So, I’ve never felt that there was any judgment on me from others, but I have put pressure on myself to tell them that my children are married and had their children young.

“No-one was making me feel pressured – it was all in my own head and I felt that I had to justify the situation.

"Perhaps I was drawing on how I was when I was younger and first had my children. I would always make sure to wear a wedding ring even though now, I haven’t worn one for years.

“So worrying about what people think is all in my own head – as really, it’s an ego boost to be able to say that I have four grandchildren.

"If I could give any advice to other young grandparents, it would be to enjoy every moment while they have the energy to have fun with them. Grandkids are so great – it’s a pity we couldn’t have had them first.”