Colette Fitzpatrick: 'Over-the-top Easter is just crackers - why can't it be a hassle-free holiday?'
I've always loved Easter. It's like Christmas without the hassle - getting together with family without the stress of presents and decorations. Just a nice meal and the hope that it won't rain.
Insert screeching tyre-stopping sound here.
Have you noticed that, over the past few years, Easter is all decorations, wreaths and now crackers? Yes - Easter crackers.
For the first time, Good Housekeeping magazine featured Easter crackers on plates as part of its annual Easter dinner table photo shoot. Waitrose in the UK says demand for Easter crackers is up 63pc on last year.
It's like another holiday, another excuse to go bloated, over-the-top commercial. Last year, Cadbury did its best to "own" the Easter bunny, with an ad depicting him as a cyclist delivering eggs.
No doubt there will be an Easter elf on the shelf. The Easter Bunny Elf could leave a trail of paw prints, and your children could leave out a carrot on Easter Saturday night as a Bunny-energising snack.
The most intrepid my own parents got for Easter was hastily writing out a few clues for a sort of treasure hunt.
Chocolate egg sales are in good shape, up 12pc last year over 2015. Have a little one who's at Easter egg receiving age? What is that now - three? Two-years-old if you have an elder sibling, perhaps? Surveys show the average child will receive about €75 worth of chocolate eggs or presents and will consume 8,000 calories this Easter.
Parents spend almost €35 on each child, while other family members and friends spend about €42. Children normally receive an average of eight Easter eggs, which is where the 8,000 calories come from.
Say anything or object to the supernova of sugar and you violate the code, the code being "don't disrupt social agendas". Can't we let Easter be Easter, hassle-free and one or two eggs?