Life Family

Wednesday 21 August 2019

Adrian Kennedy: 'Don't ask couples when they'll have children, they might be going through the toughest struggle of their lives'

Adrian Kennedy

Society is a funny thing. It dictates that our lives should follow a specific plan - grow up, get a job, settle down, buy a house, get hitched, have a baby or two, retire and eventually die.

Sounds grim, I know, but it's what people expect.

With this in mind, it's understandable that the most common question long-term couples and newlyweds get asked is: "When will we hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet?"

I genuinely believe that asking a question like this can be extremely insensitive.

Answering the question could be an emotional minefield for some couples.

Imagine how being asked this must feel for those who are having trouble conceiving, or who have been told they will never be able to have a child of their own, or even for those who may be having marital problems or don't want children.

I always wonder what kind of answer it is that people are hoping to get.

The only positive one here is: "Oh yeah, we're actually expecting right now."

If we're being realistic, that's highly unlikely because most couples won't tell anyone they're past the first trimester anyway.

All I'm doing here is urging people to think before they speak. Stop asking couples when they're going to have children.

These people might be going through the toughest struggle of their lives, or maybe they just aren't ready for kids or don't want them.

Either way, it's none of your business and you have no place to question them, even if you are just curious.

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