Sunday 24 June 2018

Dear Editor: 'The bottom line is that many women are stressed and overworked'

A mother-of-two penned a letter to Independent.ie this week to express how she would readily give up her professional job to rear and bring up her kids, but she feels trapped by the cost of her mortgage repayments. The mum, who wishes to remain anonymous, says she feels that being a mother is, for her, the most important job in the world, but she feels that life in Ireland is such that both parents must work outside the home in order to make ends meet. Read her letter here:

Stock photo
Stock photo

Dear Editor,

I write what is in my heart and realise that many feminist voices will take strong issue with my view, but at present, I take issue with feminism and so-called “equality”. It has separated me from my kids and taken my choice.

There is a lot of talk about equality for women and the way that women are enabled to work now and have a career.

I'm a working mum and I feel trapped because I don’t have a choice. I have to work to pay my mortgage and to meet my expenses.

I experience constant role overload as a result.

Given the choice, I would happily stay at home and rear my children as I believe there is nothing in this world more important or fulfilling.

I still have a household to run and those duties do largely fall to the woman, if we are honest with ourselves, in the majority of households.

This is a crap life. I hate every moment away from my kids and when I'm not working I am playing catch-up with the housework.

There is nothing natural about peeling little arms from your neck every morning as you drop them to the childminder or feeling tearful and leaving them with my heart in my boots.

I feel like a crap mum as I'm not there to do the things my mum did for me because of my work.

There is little time left to spend with my kids in reality. I want to raise my kids myself but I cannot do this, I would lose our home.....This is not normal; this is not choice; this is not equality.

I would love more kids but I already pay €1000 a month for childcare. I could not afford another child.

The bottom line is that many women are stressed and overworked.

I’m so sorry I trained to be a professional as I pay for everything and cannot afford to go out and socialise or even go on holiday... Getting quality time with my kids is hard but I savour every single second I have with my precious darlings. I try to impart as much good parenting as I can when I’m with them.

I am going to work part-time in the next while and I hope this eases my situation and creates more quality time to spend with my kids.

They and my husband are the light in my life and I live for them. The rest is drudgery.

Please withhold my name.

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