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Baby on bored

With eight months of pregnancy done, Sophie White explores lesser-known milestones of pregnancy, including boredom and intense feelings of rage

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Vegan curry

Vegan curry

Vegan curry

There are plenty of well-known pregnancy milestones, from morning sickness to weird cravings. People tend to dwell on the more cutesy ailments that besiege the heroic propagators of the species. And that's fine; if people knew the truth about pregnancy, lots of sensible ones would probably opt to avoid it altogether.

Now, don't worry, I'm not going to nail you in the face with the often-gruesome realities of growing human young, except to say that it is ridiculous that we, as a race, have put man on the moon, but have still not remedied the fact that we are growing people inside other people. If we grew the people inside men, you know that fixing this state of affairs would have been top of the science-agenda from the get-go.

I want to explore the lesser-acknowledged milestones of pregnancy. Like the first time you crouch down to reason with an unreasonable toddler, and then realise you can't get back up. If you're lucky like me, this will occur in public - I resorted to clawing my way up using the shelves of my local supermarket.