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Ask Allison: 'I've slept with more people than my boyfriend. He is haunted by images of me with my exes'

Our resident therapist answers your queries about sex and relationships

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"How do I help him overcome this?" Stock photo

"How do I help him overcome this?" Stock photo

"How do I help him overcome this?" Stock photo

Q I am reaching out to you because my boyfriend really struggles with my past. I have slept with and dated more people than him - all long before we started going out - but he can't stop thinking about this and he says he has very vivid images of me and these other men. He is upset that he thinks like this, and he regrets not being more promiscuous when he was single.

He is very kind to me and he never holds these thoughts against me but it really affects him and our future together. I can see how upset he is and sometimes he thinks it might be easier to not be with me, to stop these thoughts, but we have been together for 18 months and I can't lose him over this. I am always very understanding about his feelings and I never get angry with him but the whole situation really upsets me.

How do I help him overcome this?


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