Tuesday 16 January 2018

Angela Scanlon: The tiger is back and it has arrived in a helicopter

Angela Scanlon
Angela Scanlon
Angela Scanlon Instagram

Angela Scanlon

In 2007, an ex-boyfriend took me to see The Rolling Stones in Slane. It was sunny and I was wearing a Topshop jacket and wellies I got that morning in Penneys. So far, so normal... until he arranged for us to be picked up in his garden in a helicopter. Oh. Okay. He was 25, I was even younger, and it all felt wildly inappropriate and a little, well, old. It was a level of extravagance that made me uncomfortable at the time.

Of course, there were no traffic jams and the view was lovely, but I kind of missed drinking cheap cans on a filthy old coach that took three hours to make the 40-minute journey. It's part of the thrill, part of the atmosphere and, frankly, it's better for the environment too. I mean, what's wrong with me? Maybe I knew it wouldn't last - the casual chopper flights or the relationship. Either way, it never felt quite right.

The gig was great, except there were times when I actually feared for their lives and I spent the most part of it nervously reacting to Mick's exertion, in his skinny jeans and even skinnier torso. I just wasn't sure how air would get to his lungs to support such extreme movement. I wanted to call 999 to make sure there was a hoist side-stage, or a defibrillator, or those electric shock things that bring you back from the dead. I was terrified that he would pop his clogs right there and then, that they'd have to helicopter him to the hospital in my helicopter and I'd have to thumb a lift home. But it was during the Celtic Tiger so except for the odd case of undiagnosed gout - which Jagger certainly didn't have - no one died. Those, my friends, were the good old days.

Well, it seems, they're back! Uber, the car service that has taxi drivers the world over in a flap, has launched tests for Uberchopper. Yes, you can open the regular app and instead of choosing an UberX, Luxe or XL car, you can slide straight into a helicopter and since it goes straight to your credit card, it's basically free, or at least it feels like that after a couple of drinks. It's been trialled successfully in the US - for Hampton's holidayers and Coachella corporates.

But they're getting closer to us… Tested at Cannes this week, users were encouraged to opt for the seven-minute trip to avoid hour-long tailbacks into the action.

At the moment it's used mostly by businessmen, but in fairness, Uber was used initially by people in an emergency when public transport just wasn't an option, now it's an everyday expense in many cities with the number of drivers growing by the day. Maybe it will soon be normal to get a chopper to Slane, or just down to the shops for milk. Maybe we will at some point want to relive the glory days, the days when the grown-ups lost their sweet minds and everyone followed suit. I'm sure NAMA has a few rusty repossessed choppers with a stench of greed and cow manure on them. A quick clean and we're ready to rock. Again.

PS: The Stones never played Angie. I like them but I will never forgive them.

Ideas are like buses…

… they don't arrive when you really need them to. Ideas are unpredictable and unreliable. You need to grab them while you can, whenever they present themselves. I have my most brilliant and creative ideas when I'm counting sheep. I wish I could nod off but instead my mind is abuzz with solutions and projects. I feel invincible in the dead of night but wake exhausted and defeated. So, I keep a notebook beside my bed. When I have a night of fitful brainstorming, I embrace it. I open my notebook and let it all pour out. I don't need to will myself to remember, I don't fight with myself to sleep and struggle to block thoughts out. When I wake, fresh and fighting, it's all there in black and white.

Tea time

Oolong Flower Power Tea Shop is a revelation. Open from 11am-11pm seven days a week, it serves over 300 varieties of loose teas and 40 coffee blends in a very cute, and fragrant, city-centre location. The cakes are divine, the superfood salad is the best I've had and the staff know their tea and are happy to advise on a choice, imparting nuggets of tea wisdom as they go.

Info: No. 4, Stephen Street Lower, Dublin 2

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