Friday 23 February 2018

27 words to use on New Year's Eve if words fail you

As we look forward to the biggest party night of the year, how cool would it be to have our own ready-made list of specific words,
As we look forward to the biggest party night of the year, how cool would it be to have our own ready-made list of specific words,

David Diebold

They say the Japanese have a word for everything, many of them with absolutely no direct equivalent in English, or any other language for that matter.

One of my personal favourites is age-otori, meaning the particular feeling you get after a bad haircut; and then there’s kuchi zamishi, which is when you’re not hungry but you eat because your mouth is ‘lonely’. Or how about the wonderful kuidare, the act of eating oneself into bankruptcy?

Okay, so we might have one or two doozies of our own that will stump Google Translate, like ‘bromance’, ‘facepalm’ and ‘selfie’ — latter of which was Oxford Dictionaries’ word of the year in 2013 (this year, apparently, it’s ‘post-truth’).

But nothing in our language comes close to arigata-meiwaku, which is when someone does you a favour you didn’t want them to do, but they go ahead and do it anyway and, as a result, they cause you a huge inconvenience, but social convention requires you to thank them anyway. ‘Like, thanks. No, really.’

As we look forward to the biggest party night of the year, how cool would it be to have our own ready-made list of specific words,
As we look forward to the biggest party night of the year, how cool would it be to have our own ready-made list of specific words,

As we look forward to the biggest party night of the year, how cool would it be to have our own ready-made list of specific words, also with no direct equivalent in any other language, just for that moment on New Year’s Eve when, well, words fail? Very cool, is the answer. And you’re welcome...

 

Overbash: The feeling of having already been to too many parties this week.

Partyverse: The limitless hypothetical range of options on New Year’s Eve.

Shoepathy: Not caring what shoes you wear on the night.

Stilettogret: Really wishing you hadn’t worn high heels once you’re there.

Notabogger: One who can’t seem to remember anyone’s name at the party.

Abandacanning: The act of only drinking half of one’s beer, setting the can down somewhere, misplacing it and, instead of looking for it, just fetching a new one from the fridge.

Cambush: When you’ve been shoving party food into your mouth, hand over fist, and someone taps you on the shoulder — you turn around and a camera-phone flashes in your face. Boom. You’ve been cambushed.

Quornered: In an inescapable conversation with someone and you quickly find out they’re a vegetarian and it’s alllll they want to talk about.

Nuggler: Someone who spends the whole night tipping their head back and guzzling peanuts from their fist. They’re nuggling.

Twogger: Someone who hogs the toilet for half an hour while a succession of increasingly pained-looking partygoers come along and try the handle.

Twincing: Pretending to tweet on your phone while hiding the fact that you’re now doing a wee-wee dance because you’ve been waiting for the twogger to come out for so long.

Papertailing: When someone emerges from the facilities trailing a length of toilet tissue. They’re a papertailer.

Beergling: The act of secretly ogling someone over the top of your can or glass while drinking, because you think they can’t see you doing it that way. They can. Stop it.

Frenge: The wall of mates you keep between you and the weirdo who’s been beergling you all night.

Drancing: That person who has drunk way too much and starts dancing in a very silly, unselfconscious or inappropriate manner — they’re drancing.

Chip-hippo: Someone who grazes at a bowl of Doritos for most of the party, only occasionally coming up for air. Sometimes you’ll even see a small herd of them.

Doritosis: Breath of the chip-hippo who turns around to talk to you.

Dipmister: One who sprays you with guacamole while they’re talking.

Convelching: Spontaneously burping while in mid conversation.

Smeeking: Sneaking out the back for a cheeky smoke when you were really supposed to have given up.

Candlebation: What that eejit is doing — the one who plays with the tea lights all night, dipping his finger into the melted wax and getting it all over the place.

Preteniner: Someone who prematurely tries to get everyone to count down from 10 to the new year because they think it’s almost midnight. Your phone has a clock, right?

Langseyed: When someone is so drunk that they can’t remember the words to Auld Lang Syne, so they just close their eyes, move their mouth around and hope for the best.

Guitarfing: The act of hijacking the host’s guitar and trying to play something you’re far too gone to remember the words to.

Singkler: Someone who kills the atmosphere in the final hour of a party by starting to sing something, usually unaccompanied and without any encouragement whatsoever.

Dominackered: When you see someone leaving the party and you realise how wrecked you are and so you leave too; then someone sees you leaving, they realise how wrecked they are, and they leave also, and so on.

Intaxification: When you’re so drunk on the way home that you’re trying to wave down every taxi that flies by. They have no intention of stopping for you. You’re intaxified.

Now that you’re armed with an entire new lexicon, have a great New Year’s Eve and please, remember, no beergling or twogging; try not to convelch, don’t get cambushed, and mind your frenge.

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