Unsteady as she goes… Not so much Freedom Day, but there are bright spots. You’ll be able to drink through a mask of your overpriced alcohol after 11.30pm.
And you’ll be able to go to a nightclub… with appropriate social disco-ing.
“What traditionally happens in a nightclub will continue to happen,” the Taoiseach said.
There was a delayed guffaw.
“Obviously people will be able to dance, of course,” he had clarified earlier.
And there’ll be no caps on weddings – ceilings on guest numbers flung to the wind like confetti.
So with no limits on attendance, if you’re not invited, it will obviously have nothing to do with Covid.
The three-in-a-bed political marriage announced the new rules in the early afternoon.
American politics has a phenomenon known as the ‘October Surprise’, but this was grimly predictable.
The Soggy Bottom Boys – Micheál, Leo and Eamon – sang the same old mournful blues.
We’re men and women of constant sorrow. And it will go on until February.
So you’ll have to wear a face covering in what is now the Christmask season.
“People are fed up of the vaccine,” said the Taoiseach. “Fed up of the virus,” he corrected himself.
Fed up of all of it, truth be told.
Somebody detonated a loud sneeze, by way of proof, as he began briefing the media.
It seemed powerful enough to take off their elbow, but nobody turned a hair.
It sounded like… “Nphet!” (And it hasn’t gone away you know. It will “continue to advise”.)
The Tánaiste had all the best lines, as usual. It will be “at least another winter before we can safely say it’s behind us”, said Leo. At least another winter… which is rather depressing.
He apparently tried to cheer things up by mentioning Twin Peaks, a surreal TV show from before most of us were born.
But then we realised he was talking about double peaks in the virus.
Up to 150 people in ICU by the end of this month or beginning of next. That’s a doubling of the present numbers, with a worn-out healthcare staff, who won’t yet get an extra jab.
Despite Eamon Ryan of the Green Party chanting a mantra of “Pass, Mask, Test and Boost”.
It trips off the tongue. And you might now have a visit from Auntie Jen if a close contact turns positive.
Apart from that, please go and get vaccinated, said the Taoiseach – while calling on the rest of us to behave sensibly.
Some irony there. The Tánaiste said that our 300,000 needle-dodgers number more than the population of Galway, city and county.
Not that we should keep away from Galway people, you understand. Not like Kildare, Offaly and Laois of last year.
We’re all back in this together – with the usual exceptions and anomalies.
Leo said it was all “deeply disappointing”. He said they were “crestfallen we have not got out of the gap just yet”.
A Winter of Discontent looms, quite possibly with a wintry disco tent for December.