Friday 27 April 2018

John Drennan: Spring time and the Coalition is rising

Michael Noonan
Michael Noonan
John Drennan

John Drennan

Spring is as we know, that time where all animals get a little frisky.

And though you mightn’t think it to look at them, few animals are friskier at this time of year than the Coalition. 

Our Coalition of Grumpy Old Men has started to get into the mood for a bit of loving with the voters. 

We are of course talking about loving of a fiscal sort. 

The amorous intentions of the Coalition have undoubtedly been enhanced by the arrival of that political Christmas known as a general election. 

Their enthusiasm was undoubtedly accentuated by the fact that the Coalition has not been getting much action in the love Department. 

Four years is a long time to go without any (fiscal) action. 

The great concern the Coalition of course had was that they might end up resembling a Lothario that has lost his libido. 

There they were promising all sorts of sweet ecstasies to the electorate if they could only get their hands on them. 

However, if they did get their hands on the voters and the performance was none too impressive then ... well our less than chivalrous voters would be none too shy about shouting about the poor Coalition Lothario and his ‘performance’ issues. 

By Tuesday many doubts were eased. 

Despite all the grumbling from Coalition TDs about how Micheal Martin had spent €7bn in fifteen minutes in his Ard Fheis speech, the Coalition were in a giving mood. 

There was of course a firewall of respectability put around the thing, but as the smiling Ministers trotted in it was a case of forget spring. 

This instead bore a far closer resemblance to Christmas with the perfectly proportioned Micheal Noonan playing the role of Santa Claus. 

As for Brendan Howlin; well every Santa needs a busy elf. 

Online Editors

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