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Sunday 18 February 2018

Political jokes are no laughing matter

SO a candidate goes to the doctor."I'm addicted to Twitter," he says.

The doctor shakes his head: "I'm sorry, I don't follow you."

The jokers were out in force yesterday.

"Great responses on the doors this morning," Cyprian Brady said, presumably talking about people who didn't recognise him.

The Fianna Fail man has 239 followers' on Twitter -- roughly the same number of first preference votes he secured in the last general election, before clawing his way into the Dail on Bertie Ahern's coat tails.

That isn't an option this time out.

Another high-profile absentee continued to dominate the election discourse as the campaign carried on spluttering.

"Around 411,000 watched (the television debate) last night featuring Martin and Gilmore; at the same time just 290 souls tuned in live to Kenny on (Fine Gael) website," Ger Fogarty reported.

But Enda had a few hundred more at his 'town hall' address in Carrick-on-Shannon, not to mention a couple of jokers.

Speaking of which, yesterday was the final day for candidates to register their intention to contest the election. The Green Party confirmed it would "be running in all 43 constituencies". Some couldn't let it pass.

"Breaking news: Green Party confirm that they will be losing 43 deposits," John Moynes shot back.

And it seems Cyprian will have competition for the most unusual name on the ballot paper.

"And a big HELLO from North Tipp's newest Independent candidate," the wonderfully-monikered Kate Bopp said, revealing she had got in just before the noon deadline.

Her enthusiasm is likely to be a welcome addition to the increasingly-staid mutterings of politicians in situ.

"You go to school to learn to read so that you can read to learn," Ruairi Quinn said sagely -- and presumably while stroking his beard -- through the Labour Twitter account.

A reader might have to go to the doctor. "I'm suffering from nausea," he might say.

Follow Jason O'Brien on Twitter: @jasonpobrien

Irish Independent

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