Friday 23 March 2018

North Korean despot Kim Jong Un (inset) has opened his very own Mosney-inspired water park 'Songdowon', and claims it is already a hit with Irish holidaymakers.

North Korean despot Kim Jong Un (inset) has opened his very own Mosney-inspired water park 'Songdowon', and claims it is already a hit with Irish holidaymakers.

He also recently announced that North Korea had won the World Cup in Brazil - so we know he wouldn't lie.

The park features giant bronze statues of Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung with posters proclaiming: 'We are the happiest in the World' and 'While Generals go to the front, children go to camp'.

Not surprisingly, Junior Tourism Minister Michael Ring would prefer if Irish families explored the scenic beauty of our own country.

"Don't we have the Tayto Park in Meath and Ireland's largest inflatable water park in Athlone?" he said.

"What need do people have going to North Korea when we've got it all here?"

l The majority of RTE radio presenters went to ground last week when the JNLRs were published - a predictable outcome given that many of RTE's listenership figures had dipped.

Reporters were informed that Tubs was busy taking "a busman's holiday" at the Beeb, while Sean O'Rourke was relaxing in Galway.

Sean was prepared to text, but talking, we were told, was simply out of the question.

When asked why all staff had conveniently fled the radio building 2fm boss Dan Healy cried: "Never mind the talent - I'm here. You've got the Big Man. What more could you want?"

The final instalment in Peter Jackson's 'Hobbit' franchise - 'The Battle of the Five Armies' - will hit cinema screens this December.

Irish actor Aidan Turner plays the part of raffish dwarf Kili in the film and assures fans the flick will be filled with quickfire witticisms. "There are lots of battles and plenty of fart and snot jokes," he said. "Peter Jackson is hilarious." Can't wait.

l Talk about turning on a dime. Lord Mayor of Dublin Christy Burke kicked up a fuss earlier his year regarding the use of the word 'Lord' in his official title.

According to Burke, the word harked back to "colonial times" and contradicted his desire to serve a "simple mayoralty".

But Christy seems to have changed his tune; this week he expressed a desire to spend more time parading around Dublin in the official €3m mayoral carriage.

Burke believes the carriage would be more environmentally friendly than his usual mode of transport - a Volvo S80.

"By using it I'll help climate change," he said. "A carriage has no emissions." How thoughtful of him.

To mark Uncle Gaybo's 80th birthday this week, broadcast historian Dr Finola Doyle O'Neill gave TV enthusiasts a sneak preview of her upcoming book, 'Gay Byrne: Hosting the Nation', which charts his long career.

She cites some of Gay's career highlights which include "leading Padraig Flynn down a blind alley of destruction and putting a condom on a banana during 'The Late Late'."

Asked what sets Gay apart from other broadcasters, Dr Finola replied: "His ordinariness. It wasn't what he said, it was what he let others say. To quote Mary McAleese: 'a sticky bun, a cup of tea and an hour of Gaybo on the radio' would make anyone feel better."

Irish Independent

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