Thursday 23 November 2017

‘We have mop buckets ready for the vomit’: Five things I learned from Junior Cert results night

Cian Murray

The results are in and the kids are out; it is Junior Certificate results night and most towns and cities around the country are flooded with celebrating teenagers.

For many 15 and 16-year-olds, tonight is an evening they have been waiting for for months.  Yes, the results were important, but the night out is the bit they were really looking forward to.

The outfits were picked out, the parties planned and the illegal alcohol acquired.

I went through this rite of passage back in the early 00s and I was far from an angel myself, but there were still a few things that caught my eye when I took to the streets this evening.

Strength in numbers

Yes, there was alcohol being consumed and yes, there were teenagers that were very drunk.

However, I didn't spot one reveller who didn’t have a group of friends around supporting them.

It is a night that these teenagers will look back on forever, so it is reassuring to see so many youths making sure nobody is left behind.

Staff know what is coming

If you are a business owner who decides to throw a junior cert results party, you are guaranteed a crowd. You are also guaranteed a mess.

A member of security at one of the parties told me that they are well aware of this.

“We have six mops and buckets filled out the back and we are ready for the worst. There will definitely be vomit. You just have to be ready,” he said.

Everything is recorded

When I did my junior certificate in the early 00s, a 'Snapchat' was when your mother gave out to you while clicking her fingers and 'Instagram' was a cooking measurement. 

Any mistakes we made were lost in the realms of history, thank God.

Every little mistake these teenagers make is being recorded and is put on the internet for all to see.

Parties with an audience

There was a worryingly large number of people hanging around these parties, whose junior certificate was a distant memory. Granted, I was one, but I had a job to do.

Maybe 15-year olds just look older these days... way older.

Not that different from a normal Saturday night

As an adult, most of us would like to think that we mature by the time we reach legal drinking age.

However, junior cert results night mirrored a normal Saturday night in the city; large groups that had a too much to drink, people using shop entrances as toilets and the occasional row overflowing from a fast food restaurant.

The only difference is, all of these revelers are underage and most are getting a lift home from their parents after.

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