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Thursday 20 September 2018

Mother of Milly (11) - whose Instagram post said she had chosen the day she would die - says she was not being bullied

Milly Tuomey died on January 4, 2016
Milly Tuomey died on January 4, 2016

Louise Roseingrave

Milly Tuomey was a "vivacious, loud, chatty and fun" child who was not being bullied, according to her mother.

Fiona Tuomey said their 11-year-old daughter's post to Instagram, that she had chosen the day she would die, came like a "bolt out of the blue".

The family, from Templogue in Dublin, had moved back to Ireland from Switzerland shortly before the schoolgirl's tragic death, and Milly had settled in well.

"She was very happy at school and loved it. She had new best friends, there was no bullying, she was not left out," the child's mother said.

The Tuomey family had lived in Switzerland for five years and Milly was a fluent speaker of German and Swiss German. She loved figure skating and had entered competitions. She loved to play the piano.

"Milly was extremely vivacious, loud, chatty and fun. She had a super relationship with her sister. When she entered a room you knew about it, she was that kind of girl," Mrs Tuomey said.

Milly left her parents, sister and grandfather watching a film in the living room to go upstairs, saying she was "bored" on January 1, 2016. She said she was going to play the piano. Earlier, her parents had spoken to her about her refusal to eat lunch and the importance of her health.

Milly had previously spoken of her unhappiness with her appearance. On the night of January 1, she was on Instagram and her parents told her she was not to leave the living room with her iPad. She'd been "annoyed by this". She was found moments later in a critical condition upstairs and rushed to hospital where she died on January 4.

Read more: Mother of Milly (11) sets up suicide support group to help others

Read more: Schoolgirl (11) sent Instagram post about her intention to die

Since Milly's death, Fiona Tuomey set up the Healing Untold Grief Group (HUGG) to help others bereaved by suicide.

"The aim was to bring people together who have lost others to suicide. To provide peer support so people don't feel so alone," Ms Tuomey said.

"It is also a point of information and a suicide authority to ring-fence services and prevent gaps, to prevent others going through what we have gone through," she said.

The family did everything in their power to help Milly after they became aware of her Instagram post on November 3, 2015.

"We spoke with her and with her school and we took her to her GP who we are told are the gatekeepers of treatment in Irish society.

"If you, as we did, believe that the Irish College of General Practitioners requires that the 2,500 GPs in Ireland should be skilled in the practice of how to make a clinical assessment of suicidal risk, then you will be shocked to know the answer is no.

"It is currently not obligatory for Irish GPs to be specifically trained in identifying the recognised red flags associated with suicidal risk," the family said in a statement.

The Healing Untold Grief Group can now be found on Facebook and offers support for other bereaved families.

Irish Independent

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