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Mattie goes in with all guns blazing as celebrity Healy-Rae is shot down

IT was all guns and poses in the Dail chamber on Tuesday during the Order of Business. Mattie McGrath was up in arms about the banks, which, according to the deputy, were now employing alarming tactics to chase down debts.

"The Central Bank of Ireland does not have a code of practice by which it can restrain what can only be described as hitmen who are going out and intimidating people," fretted Mattie. "Hitmen are going out and threatening people and beating them up."

"We would want to be careful," wisely advised the Ceann Comhairle, who then shot down Three Guns Healy-Rae when he complained that his request for a debate on the fodder shortage had been ignored. "I didn't receive it," explained the Ceann.

"Maybe you sent it by text," fired back Fine Gael's Patrick O'Donovan in a naughty reference to Michael Healy-Rae's muddle over the mysterious 3,636 votes from a phone in Leinster House at a cost of €2,600 to the Irish taxpayer, which helped propel him to victory in RTE's 2007 reality show 'Celebrities Go Wild'.

Ah but sure, maybe RTE will invite Three Guns back for the planned sequel, 'Celebrities Go Wild Wesht' . . .

Irish Independent