YOU spin me right round, baby, right round. Like a record, baby, right round, round, round.
Dead or Alive? Yep, it's particularly hard to tell with this lot. The political waffle coming from many of the experienced candidates would make you weep or your ears bleed. Take Dr James O'Reilly and the mangled double negatives he shoved down our throats at breakfast time. "DrJamesReilly is on a wing and a prayer on #morningireland," Kealon Flynn noted.
"Doesn't seem to know what Michael Noonan and Leo Varadkar are saying on banks."
But there was no chance of the good doctor admitting as much so he ploughed on, arguing Varadkar had "not not" said something or other. Jesus wept.
Yet Mary Hanafin managed to outdo him on the same show. She went so far out of her way in refusing to give a straight answer on her €90,000 severance pay that she probably ran into herself coming back. Well, hopefully.
Niall Martin helpfully translated the minister into English. "What Hanafin really means: 'I'll be keeping the money, and so will my colleagues'," he said.
The question remains whether she will dodge the political bullet. Attempting to lift the tedium somewhat is independent candidate Mannix Flynn, who can be seen and heard rapping for your vote on YouTube. Sample lyric? "The heat's on us like a sauna/Hurray for the Garda Siochana." And with little of substance happening, the Twitter populace has largely taken to whimsy. So there is one user called 'EndasEmptyChair', another called 'TheEmptyChairTD'. Yesterday they met.
"Well, this is awkward," one said to the other.
But the substantive issue surely is whether either can swivel? You spin me right round, baby. Two more weeks, baby.