It's all thanks to the Saw Doctors that Michael D's Rockin in the Aras
The punters should have known it all along. Any politician who has a song named after him is a dead cert to win elections.
In the '90s the Tuam combo the Saw Doctors unleashed their ditty, 'Michael D's Rockin in the Dail'.
Yesterday, they announced that they were releasing a new version, 'Michael D's Rockin in the Aras'.
Here's just a sample of the tribute:
"Poet of peace and the poet of words,
Of the beckoning free-thinking world,
The poet of every class and colour,
Crime parades and brave young mothers.''
These lyrics may not win a Nobel Prize for Literature, but at least the boys are trying.
The Aras chauffeur can certainly expect some lively journeys when President Higgins is traversing the country in the presidential limo.
When he was Arts Minister he used to love bombing around in the ministerial merc listening to 'The Beast in Me' by Johnny Cash.
Our Mary was a matchmaker
Our own columnist Mary Kenny was celebrating her role as a presidential matchmaker last night.
Michael D Higgins met his wife Sabina at a "hippy party'' at the writer's house in Ballsbridge, Dublin, in 1969.
"I actually introduced them to each other, although it was all in a bit of an alcoholic haze,'' Mary told me.
"I am absolutely delighted for him. He was the best candidate.''
Mary said she was surprised when Michael D and Sabina married.
"I never thought he was the marrying kind, to be honest. I thought he was going to become a priest.''
First Lady-elect is a rising woman
The main event of the Higgins' presidency will be the celebrations to mark the centenary of the 1916 Rising.
There are few more qualified women to take part in this event than the First Lady-elect.
As an up-an-coming young actress, Michael D's missus starred in 'Insurrection', a famous RTE drama about 1916.
She played the role of Julia Grenan, a nurse who looked after James Connolly's injured leg when he was strutting his stuff in the GPO.
Perhaps the presidential couple could entertain the masses by taking part in a re-enactment, with Michael D taking the role of the left-wing firebrand.
Blueshirts confused by Mitchell count
Fine Gaelers were left scratching their heads as party candidate Gay Mitchell suffered electoral meltdown. In some boxes in Cork, he didn't get a single vote, tallypersons inform me.
Well-known tweeter Ken Curtin overheard one Blueshirt remark: "How did Mitchell only get 24 votes in Ardfield (an area in Cork South West) when we have 50 members there?''
No to three Hail Marys
As 'The Sun' would say: "It was the Envelope wot won it.'' Pundits lined up yesterday to explain Sean Gallagher's spectacular reversal of fortune.
They explained that as soon as he mentioned the word "envelope'' on Monday's 'Frontline' programme he was in a sticky situation.
He must now be kicking himself that he didn't say "paper wrapper'' or "package''.
Meanwhile, Mary Banotti (a 1997 candidate) yesterday offered an entirely plausible explanation for the poor showing of another also-ran, Mary Davis.
Casting aside other reservations, she said: "The thought of a third Mary was just too much to take.''
Lego Man builds bridges
Did you hear the one about the policeman, the tallyman and the Lego Man?
They were all at the count in Wexford.
The Lego Man kept a close eye on the votes and livened up proceedings.
Behind the mask, he is in fact a she -- Hazel Duggan, a pupil from Gaelscoil Charman.
A teacher brought her entire class to the count in their Halloween costumes, and Hazel arrived as the popular construction luminary.