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Friday 13 December 2019

How to say nothing loud and clear

Here at People Are Talking, we have strong opinions on all the important issues of the day -- the Greek elections; that Oirechtas bill banning children in cars (or whatever the heck it is); Lucinda Creighton's eyebrows -- but, in honour of Eamon O Cuiv, have decided not to comment publicly on any of them for the foreseeable future.

Since calling a press conference to announce that he had nothing to announce, the Galway West TD has been a bit like Macavity the cat in that famous poem. You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air -- but I tell you once and once again, MacCuivity's not there! Well, apart from all those media appearances, in which Eamon has tried to find new ways to say absolutely nothing.

Imagine if his grandfather had taken the same line back in 1916. "I am totally opposed to the British presence in Ireland," De Valera would've revealed, "but have decided for reasons understood only by me not to publicly campaign against it." We'd still be ruled by Blighty and Enda wouldn't be Taoiseach. Which would be 50 per cent regrettable.

Sinn Fein should try sending a letter to Gerry Adams to see if they can get him to shut up, too. Adams's grasp of economics is almost as bad as his memory, but somehow, as Enda pointed out last week, he's become leader of the No camp in the EU treaty campaign. Though maybe it's not so surprising. After all, Ulster always did say No.

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